Relax into impermanence

When the appearances of this life dissolve, may I with ease and great happiness, let go of all attachments to this life, like a child returning home.” ~ Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

When we pay attention to the world around us, we begin to notice that everything is always changing – the temperature of the air, the clouds in the sky, scents wafting by on the breeze, the sounds of people and traffic and birdsong.  We walk outside our same front door each morning and yet what awaits us is different every time.  We take our same route to work and yet we see different cars, different people.  We pour coffee into our same mug and yet, if we are really paying attention, we notice that the coffee tastes and smells differently today. Why? Because we are different.  Because this moment is different. Because all of life is impermanent and although we may encounter people and places and things that seem to be the same as those we have met or seen or experienced before, those experiences have ended and what we have before us is beginning anew.

Impermanence can be challenging to truly understand and accept.  Realising that nothing remains the same and that all things must come to an end can give rise to fear and anxiety and a sense of groundlessness.  As human beings we form attachments to the people and places and things in our life; they become part of how we identify ourselves and our place in this world.  When an experience is over, when we lose a treasured object, when a beloved friendship ends, we often try to cling, to grasp, to bring it back into existence, even though deep down we know that it has reached its natural end and we must continue on.

Life is a continuous cycle of beginnings and endings, of births and deaths. Each breath has a natural beginning and ending, each moment begins and ends, and the end of one moment marks the beginning of the next.  Through our mindfulness practice, we learn to observe this natural evolution of time and experience with a sense of equanimity; we learn to release our attachment to what has passed, without fear or anxiety.  As we cultivate an attitude of acceptance and our resilience grows in the face of change, we are building the inner resources necessary to face our deepest fears, to face the ultimate example of impermanence: our own death.

On the eastern edge of the Himalayas lies the Buddhist kingdom of Bhutan.  When we hear about Bhutan in the West, it is often referred to as the happiest place on earth, a country whose King declared ‘Gross National Happiness’ to be its true measure of success.  In such a place where happiness abounds, it might be a surprise to learn that they contemplate their own death five times a day.  Five times every day the Bhutanese acknowledge that this life will end; they acknowledge the impermanent nature of everything around them, and then they return to living in that moment.  I find this practice fascinating and have decided to try it myself – believe it or not, there is an app for that!  At five random times a day this app sends me a reminder that I am going to die, and it shares a quote with me about some aspect of impermanence.  At first blush this may sound morbid; however, I believe it is by confronting our fears that we relieve them of their power over us.

Fear can have profound effects upon us.  We can feel paralysed by our fears, and they can rob us of our ability to live each day in a healthy and conscious way.  When we acknowledge fear, when we observe it and name it and sit with it, we grow our awareness of its nature and its roots.  We can look upon it with compassion and lovingkindness and then feel its power diminish.  Change and the impermanent nature of all things gives rise to fear for many of us, but if we can find a way to acknowledge and accept impermanence, perhaps instead we can welcome change, relax and make peace with it.  Perhaps by accepting impermanence, by realising that all we really have is this moment, we can live our lives more fully and allow the births and deaths along the way to teach us powerful lessons.

I leave you with the wonderful wisdom of Pema Chödrön, a Tibetan Buddhist nun who has the extraordinary ability to make challenging concepts like impermanence feel much more accessible.

Letting go

Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. ~ Jack Kornfield

Autumn is my favourite season. I revel in its riot of colours, I breathe in deeply its crisp and refreshing air, I nourish myself with its abundant harvest of fruits and vegetables, and like a joyful child I dance my way through piles of leaves and relish the sound of their crunching beneath my feet.  Autumn greatly appeals to my nature as an introvert – I love spending quiet time alone curled up with a good book, puttering in the kitchen making hearty soups and savoury preserves with my fall bounty from the farmer’s market.  Autumn is a season tailor-made for homebodies like me.

You may have noticed that over the last few weeks there have been some common threads woven through my posts. These threads are an integral part of the larger tapestry that is Autumn and all that this season means for us on a physical and energetic level.  The daylight wanes and the temperatures cool; the natural world sheds its summer clothes and quietly prepares for winter slumber.  Though our busy modern life seems to draw us ever farther from our connection to nature, when we take the time to listen to our bodies, to listen to our inner selves and the innate wisdom we have within us, we realise that we are deeply moved and shaped by the rhythm of the changing seasons.

Traditional Chinese Medicine teaches us that our vital energy moves through channels in our body called meridians, nourishing all of our cells and tissues.  The meridian lines are connected to organ systems, and while there are clear links to the Western understanding of organ function, TCM also assigns other physical and energetic attributes to these systems.  TCM also acknowledges the important role that the seasons of the natural world play in our physical and energetic well-being.  The autumn season is associated with the Lung and Large Intestine meridians.  These organs separate what is essential from what is waste; they eliminate what is unnecessary or toxic and welcome what will nourish and heal.  Their energy is one of ‘letting go’, releasing what no longer serves us, creating space to respond to our changing needs so that we have room to grow and move forward on our path.

When we avoid introspection, when we turn away from ourselves and ignore the signals being sent by our mind and body, we are fighting a battle we cannot win.  We are an integral part of the natural world. What if rather than struggling against its changing nature, we relaxed and softened into that change? What if rather than clinging tightly to what we know, we released our grip and let go, making space for something new? Autumn is a time for us to dive within and plumb the depths of our experience. Let yourself be nourished by the changing season. Open your heart and your mind to whatever comes, and release what it is time to let go.

The two arrows

When we welcome mindful practices like yoga and meditation into our lives, we learn about the myriad benefits they can bring.  We might feel them physically: less pain, more energy, softness, strength.  We might feel them on a mental or emotional level: less stress and anxiety, greater ease and calm.  Pay attention to the present moment, and all of these benefits can unfold for us.  It sounds so simple, and yet I am often reminded that ‘simple’ does not make it ‘easy’.

When we practice mindfulness, we seek to pay attention to the present moment in an open and receptive way, without judgment or attachment.  However, as human beings we unconsciously form judgments about all that we experience – good, bad, pleasant, unpleasant, happy, sad, the list goes on.  Mindfulness does not stop the judgments altogether, but it makes us aware of them when they arise, and more importantly, it teaches us to release our attachment to those judgments; we learn to accept what arises just as it is without attaching a story to it, without getting carried away from the present moment in that story.  Again, this sounds simple enough on the surface, but learning to release our attachment to the narratives we create can be very challenging, especially when those narratives come from deep-seated places and experiences within us.

When our attention rests fully in the present, we are witness to all that arises in that moment. For example, when we attend to sensation in the body, we begin to notice that sensations ebb and flow moment by moment – an itchiness here, a tingling there, warmth on my back, coldness in my feet.  When we attend to the breath we might notice that inhales and exhales differ in length and breadth and depth, and the breath moves differently in different areas of the body.  When we attend to our thoughts we might notice more busyness some days than others, or that certain thoughts come back again and again, and others seem to appear out of nowhere.  As we deepen our practice of mindfulness, we notice more and more about each moment’s experience, and we cultivate the ability to do so with less and less attachment.

In the Buddhist tradition, it is said that the root of all suffering is attachment.  We are attached to the desire to have (craving what is good, pleasant, happy) and the desire to not have (aversion to what is bad, unpleasant, sad).  We get attached to our judgments and perceptions of people and places and things.  When something arises in our experience, two things can happen: we can react automatically based on these preconceived notions that we have developed over our lifetime, or we can respond from a different place, a place that is open and receptive, a place of compassion and equanimity.  If we respond from this place, we can view the experience through a different lens and observe its nuances without those old judgments colouring our perception and causing us suffering.

When we sit down to meditate and we open our awareness to the changing experience of each moment, at some point we will inevitably be confronted by the suffering of our judgments and attachments.  We attend to the sensations in our body and a sharp pain arises.  Most of us would naturally feel an aversion to the pain; we might also attach a unique story to this particular pain – a story about an injury or illness, a story about something stressful, a story that makes us feel fearful of this pain.  There is a Buddhist parable about two arrows, and the first arrow is this initial sharp pain.  After we have been struck by this first arrow, would we intentionally shoot ourselves with a second arrow?  Of course not – and yet we do this through our unconscious reaction to the pain and our attachment to the story we create around it.  It is this reaction that is the second arrow of suffering, and while we cannot always control the first arrow, we can definitely work on stopping the second one – or at least reduce its impact.

The first arrow could appear in our practice as a physical sensation, as a mental or emotional sensation, or perhaps as something we perceive as energetic or spiritual.  We practice mindfulness so that we can cultivate resources like compassion, lovingkindness, acceptance, and equanimity.  We often think of directing these resources to our loved ones and those in the world around us, but it is vitally important that we also direct them towards ourselves.  When the first arrow strikes, we call upon these resources to help us respond consciously in a balanced way.  We feel that sharp pain – or deep loss, betrayal, anxiety, humiliation – and we reach into our heart and tap into our compassion and lovingkindness.  We sit with the pain and we accept it as part of this moment’s experience.  We resist the stories that want to attach themselves to the pain and carry us away from the experience of it.

Mindfulness is not an easy practice when we start to peel back the layers of our experience, but it is one that is full of rewards and enduring benefits.  Mindfulness helps us come home to ourselves, to create a place within us that is warm and welcoming and compassionate and accepting of all the many facets of who we are.  Indian spiritual leader Osho reminded us: “Drop the idea of becoming someone because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realise it.” Mindfulness helps us find our way to this realisation, recognising our innate wisdom and beauty and letting it guide us in the way we treat ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Sweet surrender

Savasana is one of the most challenging poses in our asana practice.  It is also one of the most rewarding, and the most necessary.  We lie down, our body relaxes, our breath slows, and our attention withdraws from the external world.  It sounds so simple, and yet this beautiful, healing repose runs counter to everything that has come to characterise modern life.  Our minds are busy and we fill our days with ever-growing to do lists.  We are constantly climbing the dizzying heights of our expectations; each time we reach a summit, we seek out the next peak and begin our climb anew.  What if, instead of always climbing to the sky, we lay down upon the earth and paused to welcome stillness?  What if, instead of always ‘doing’, we embraced the present moment and took the time to simply be?

Savasana is Sanskrit for corpse pose. Visionary teacher BKS Iyengar often ended his classes with two words of instruction: be dead.  To truly absorb and integrate all the benefits of our asana practice, we must surrender fully to stillness.  We must let go of our need to be constantly in motion, to be always thinking and doing and moving forward towards something.  In stillness lies profound beauty and healing, kindness and wisdom.  In stillness we come home to ourselves; we recharge, refocus, and remember that we are already enough exactly as we are.

Savasana is one of the extraordinary gifts of our yoga practice, and it is one that we should invite off the mat and into our daily life.  As autumn arrives, the natural world around us is in transition, letting go of summer blooms and preparing for a long winter’s sleep.  Our physical and energetic bodies naturally crave this same sense of letting go and finding rest.  However, our busy minds try to divert us from this course, continuing the climb to the sky.  If we could release our attachment to those busy thoughts and let ourselves be guided by our intuition, we would find that what serves us best in fall is reconnecting to the peace and stillness of the earth.

As the temperature cools and the days grow shorter, attune to the innate wisdom that lies within you.  Relax your grip on the busyness of your mind.  Release yourself from doing and take time to simply be.  Lie down, let go, and feel the earth support your weight. Sink into that nurturing support and let yourself find the sweet surrender of Savasana.

Autumn reflections

Each new season brings change; whether subtle or profound, we are all affected by the changing nature of the world around us. In autumn, we see shorter days and cooler temperatures. Depending on where we live, there might be a riot of colour to signal its arrival, one last hurrah before the natural world settles into slumber.

The needs of our minds and bodies also change with each new season. After the expansive, external energy that the heat of summer brings, we find ourselves drawing inward as fall arrives. We feather our nests and get cozy, we nourish our bodies with warming foods made from the bounty of fall’s harvest.  This is a time for introspection, for gazing within and connecting to our heart and to our intuition.  All of the answers to our biggest, most pressing life questions lie within us, but we rarely take the time to listen openly and honestly to our inner guides.

Let autumn be a time to embark upon an inward journey.  Mine the depths of your soul with compassion and lovingkindness and see what treasures you uncover. With open-hearted awareness, attune to the subtle rhythms of your body and your breath, as you dive deep inside to connect to the wisdom that lies within.

Autumn is a time for nourishing food, nourishing practices, nourishing community with friends and loved ones. We shore up our inner resources to support us during the dark and cold of winter that lies ahead. A vital part of our autumn ritual is also adequate time alone and in stillness to attend to the needs of our mind, our body, and our spirit. We take this time to reflect on how these needs may be changing and how we can best respond to them; we reflect on what is serving us well in our life, and what it is time to release.  In autumn, we can let go of what no longer serves and supports us, and we can make space for new experiences and ideas that will help us to learn and grow on our path.

What practices can you invite into your fall routine that will nourish you deeply and allow you to explore your inner landscape? Make time for yourself. Make time for stillness and quiet. Make time for healing and for letting go. Welcome spaciousness into your heart and your mind, making room for love, for gratitude, and for possibility.

 

Giving thanks

In Canada, today is a day of giving thanks for all of the blessings in our life. We have so much to be grateful for on any given day, even in times of challenge and duress.  I am deeply grateful to all of you for your kindness and support, and as a gift on this day of Thanksgiving, I offer you a new meditation called Find Peace in Gratitude. I hope you enjoy it and it helps to remind you of all that you have to be thankful for.

Here is a favourite quote that I often see shared at this time of year, from author Melody Beattie:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates and vision for tomorrow.

Be Here Now

The greatest and yet simplest gift that our mindfulness practice brings is a connection to the present moment.  When we inhabit the present moment, we can open ourselves to all of its possibilities, its opportunities, the full experience of that moment in time.  When we release our attachment to our busy thinking mind, our past regrets and future worries, we can simply be in the Now.  In this moment lies the possibility for peace and joy; in this moment lies an opportunity to grow and heal.

My second meditation on Insight Timer has reached the head of the queue and is now live!  Be Here Now is a practice that begins with awareness of your breath and your surroundings, and then it guides you on a scan of the body to help you connect to the full experience of each moment.  I invite you to explore this practice whenever you find yourself distracted or disconnected, feeling stress or anxiety, or simply in need of respite from the busyness of your day.

Being here now helps you to cultivate a sense of peace and calm that will allow you to navigate whatever arises on your path.

A lifetime of learning

This weekend I had the extraordinary privilege of studying with Father Joe Pereira. A Catholic priest for 51 years, Father Joe also studied closely with B.K.S. Iyengar for more than 40 years. He has been sharing the wisdom and healing power of Iyengar yoga around the world, while harnessing its therapeutic benefits to treat addiction and manage HIV/AIDS at the 69 treatment centres run by Kripa Foundation, which he founded in 1981 (http://www.kripafoundation.org/).

For those who are unfamiliar, B.K.S. Iyengar is widely known in the West as the father of modern yoga. The form of Hatha yoga he introduced is firmly rooted in the eight-limbed path set out for us by the sage Patanjali around 400 CE.  Iyengar yoga is often thought of as alignment-based asana, but it is so much more than a physical alignment practice – guided by the moral and ethical compass of the Yamas and Niyamas, it seeks to align the external body with the internal environment; it enables us to forge a union of body, mind and spirit, and from that place of union we can discover our connection to the Universe, to the God of our understanding, to that which is greater than ourselves.  We come to realise that we are not separate from one another; this existence is shared, and we must live it together with compassion and lovingkindness.

To me, the importance of lifelong learning cannot be overstated.  Our minds and bodies thrive when we are learning something new.  Though I am a teacher of yoga and meditation, I will always be first and foremost a student.  I try to approach each day with an open heart and an open mind, receptive to whatever lessons that day may bring.  When I take a class, a workshop, or training, I invite a beginner’s mind as I explore with wonder all that is being shared.  In the presence of someone with such depth and breadth of knowledge like Father Joe, who is extraordinarily wise, compassionate, humble, and kind, I am filled with gratitude for his teachings; like a sponge I absorb all of the wisdom he shares and welcome it deep within my bones, deep into my heart so that it may infuse and inform my practice and my daily life on and off the mat.

There are lessons to be learned in every moment – we need only pay attention and open ourselves to the wisdom in the world around us.  When we learn something new it changes our perspective; we look at our life, or aspects of it, in a different way.  These teachings can come to us in myriad forms, through myriad channels, anytime and anywhere.  Though we can have powerful learning experiences in formal settings like courses and workshops, some of the most profound lessons come when we least expect them – in our encounters with friends and loved ones, with unfamiliar people and places, when we are communing with nature.  The common denominator between all of these learning opportunities is that we have opened ourselves to possibility, and we have done so with presence, with mindful awareness, with a willingness to release our attachment to what was and welcome something new.

For these latest teachings from Father Joe, I am deeply grateful.  When you look back upon your life, at the important lessons you have learned, who are the teachers and what are the experiences that taught you most?  For even the seemingly small lessons we can give humble thanks, for every lesson we learn informs our journey, shapes who we are, and helps us determine the next step along our path.

Be bodacious

Each of us has the right, the possibility to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented. Be bodacious enough to invent yourself.  ~Maya Angelou

A dear friend shared this quote with me recently.  The words of Maya Angelou never cease to inspire and amaze me with their insight and wisdom.  With each day comes new possibilities, new opportunities. And yet, how often do we truly explore them?  How often do we have the courage and audacity to fully embrace change, to evolve, to invent ourselves daily? I suspect that for most of us, the hurdle that lies between us and invention is our own inner critic, the judgments we lay upon ourselves over and over that limit our ability to love and accept who we are in each and every moment.

The first step on the eight-limbed yogic path is Ahimsa, non-violence.  To practice Ahimsa means to do no harm in thought, word or deed – no harm to ourselves, to others, to the world around us.  To practice Ahimsa we must truly embody compassion and lovingkindness, and this begins with ourselves.  The Dalai Lama asks: “What is love? Love is the absence of judgment.”  Through mindfulness we seek to observe each moment, each thought, emotion, and sensation, without judgment or attachment.  Our mindful awareness shines a light on our inner critic and when these judgments are exposed and identified, they begin to lose their power over us.

In my classes I often invite students to turn their gaze inward, to reflect within. Both yoga and meditation are internal practices that enable us to know our true selves, to connect with the innate wisdom and beauty that lies deep within us.  The trouble is that to reach this inner sanctum, we must slay dragons like self-doubt and fear, we must awaken from what author / meditation teacher Tara Brach calls the trance of unworthiness and fill ourselves to the brim with compassion, with lovingkindness, with acceptance of all that we are and all that we can be.  Armed with the power of self-love and true acceptance, we can connect to our intuition and plumb the depths of our wisdom to guide us on our journey, our evolution, the bodacious invention of ourselves daily.

Gratitude

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” ~Albert Einstein

“Who is rich? Those who are happy with what they have.” ~Jewish scripture

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day challenges of our life that we forget to open our eyes to the myriad gifts that surround us.  It’s easy to let our attention become so sharply focused on the future and what we want to acquire, achieve, accomplish, that we neglect to look in the periphery of our present and acknowledge what we already have.  At any given time on our path we could be standing triumphantly on a peak, mired in a deep valley, or walking steadily somewhere in between.  No matter where we find ourselves, whether the path seems clear or hazy, it is exactly the right time to practice gratitude.

There is something quite profound in regularly giving thanks for the simple blessings in our life.  The practice of gratitude helps us shift our focus to the unsung heroes that support us on our journey.  We can give thanks for the love of family and friends, for the roof over our heads, for the technology that allows me to share these words with you and enables you to access them from virtually anywhere.  We can give thanks for the gifts of hearing and sight, of taste, touch and smell that allow us to connect to the world around us and marvel at its beauty. Even in the throes of despair or disease, we can give thanks simply for the breath that nourishes us and gives us life in that moment.

Gratitude can offer us a refuge from our inner and outer struggles.  It shifts our gaze away from our challenges and helps us cultivate a sense of contentment, balance and perspective.  We are reminded to appreciate the simple joys of life, the gift of being alive, and we begin to recognise that this too shall pass – whatever ‘this’ may be.  We remember that change is our constant companion and with each moment arrives new possibilities, new opportunities to grow, to learn, to heal, to stand rapt in awe at the simple blessings this moment brings.

Gratitude can be practiced anytime and anywhere, and like any skill, the more often we practice, the more adept we become.  When you awaken each morning, ask yourself: what am I grateful for on this day?  When feelings like frustration, anger, loneliness or pain arise, invite yourself to pause and bring to mind one thing for which you are grateful in that moment.  The more often we pause to wonder and we acknowledge that we are truly rich, the better able we will be to find contentment within ourselves and the world around us.