The best way out is always through

Resilient tree growing through a fence
A resilient tree shows us the way through

Resilience. That’s what comes to mind each day as I pass this tree on my walks around the neighbourhood. Resilience in the face of suffering. Perseverance in the midst of pain. 

You might have seen this unusual tree in the photos I shared on Instagram last week as we saw yet another stay-at-home order announced. I offered it as a reminder that we have within us the strength to overcome whatever challenges stand in our way, to make it through to the other side – we need only find a way to connect to it.

Sometimes the challenges we encounter are of our own making, and sometimes they’re beyond our control, arriving seemingly out of nowhere – like this fence. We could be going about our business, this tree was simply growing in the forest, and suddenly something stops us in our tracks. To be honest, I’ve found myself in that very situation in recent months: stopped in my tracks by unexpected health problems. In the face of challenge, in the face of pain and suffering, how do we connect with our inner strength and resilience and harness its power to guide us safely through?

For me, this connection comes through mindfulness, which of course, can take many shapes and forms. Asana and pranayama, the postures and breathwork of yoga, help me release tension and create space in body and mind so that I can open my awareness to signals arising within. Meditation deepens my practice of svadhyaya (self-study) and santosha (contentment) as I observe, notice, embrace my experience without judgment or attachment, with lovingkindness and compassion. I invite mindfulness into my favourite everyday activities – gardening, baking, walking in nature. I give thanks for the many blessings in my life, without glossing over the fact that I’ve lost my job, that I’m struggling with health issues, that I’m tired of being stuck at home in lockdown. I remind myself of the vital importance of self-love, self-care, self-compassion, and self-acceptance. Connecting to the present moment through these practices fosters in me a deeper connection to myself, a greater awareness of who I am beneath all the mental busyness, beneath the self-doubt, the pain, the expectations and uncertainties.

In his poem A Servant to Servants, Robert Frost wrote that “the best way out is always through” and I believe that’s just what mindfulness teaches us. We learn to welcome the present moment exactly as it is – its joy and its pain, its triumph and its sorrow. We learn to practice acceptance of what is rather than fear of what might be or regret for what was. We take it day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath. We make our way through the challenges, fueled by strength and resilience we’ve cultivated within, and like this extraordinary tree, we keep reaching our branches to the sky.

Tree branches reaching to the sky
Branches reaching to the sky

Anytime, Anywhere

Castelo dos Mouros ~ Sintra, Portugal

I am deeply grateful for my yoga and meditation practice. For many years my practice has helped me navigate choppy seas, find calm amidst the chaos, weather storms of all manner. My practice serves me well during times of joy and triumph too, of course; however, when the path ahead is murky or filled with obstacles, my practice gives me the strength to take the next step and move forward.

We find ourselves at such a place on our path now. We strain to see what lies ahead, but we are venturing into new territory and we do not know exactly where this path will lead. Now more than ever I think we should turn to our practice to calm our worries, soothe our spirits, nourish our minds and bodies, so that we may be strong and resilient in the face of unknown challenges to come.

The beautiful thing about mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation is that we can invite them into our daily life anytime, anywhere. Much as we might wish we could be sitting by a quiet lakeside to meditate, or practicing yoga asana overlooking the ocean beneath swaying palms, more often than not we are simply going about our daily routine at home and work. When we consider creating a home practice, we might be discouraged by thinking that we need to have a dedicated space or special equipment or props. Again, while it would be wonderful to have an entire room for our practice and a collection of blocks and bolsters, blankets and zafus, we can use the space and the everyday items we have on hand anywhere we go.

Need to create a supportive seat for meditation? Sit at the edge of a chair so your feet can rest fully on the floor, or use a couch cushion or folded towel or blanket to sit on, perhaps with your back against a wall. Tuck yourself into an out-of-the-way corner if you can, and simply connect with what arises in your experience moment by moment – the sounds in the room, the temperature of the air on your skin, the sensations in your body, the rise and fall of your breath. You can set a timer on your phone and place it just out of sight, or count your inhales and exhales from one to 30 and back down again, or perhaps simply sit and breathe and notice for any period of time that resonates with you. No special tools, equipment or room needed – just an open mind and a willingness to welcome your experience, whatever it may be.

If you practice yoga asana, there are plenty of items around the house or hotel room we can use to support our practice. Need a mat? Try using a large bath or beach towel. Need some support beneath your seat for a forward fold? A firm cushion or folded blanket or towel is ideal. Want to recline on a bolster for some gentle heart opening and restoration? Use a couch cushion or two, wrap a bed pillow in a large towel, or fold several towels or blankets in long rectangles and stack them with a little staggered edge to support your lower back as you recline. In fact, towels and blankets can be rolled and folded in so many ways, they are the perfect all-purpose prop for any practice. And of course, there are plenty of ways to invite mindful movement into your body without the need for any props at all.

Building a portable practice might seem daunting at first, but it is an opportunity to be creative, to explore different options and ideas, to listen to the needs of your mind and body and respond with just the right practice for that moment. Simply standing in Mountain Pose, inhaling to extend the arms overhead and exhaling to release them by your sides a few times can invigorate the mind and body and ground you in the present moment. Sometimes finding a comfortable seat for meditation can be challenging, especially if you are experiencing pain, an injury or illness; instead, try lying on your back with knees bent and soles of the feet on the floor, inviting a sense of deep rest and ease as you connect with your breath and the sensations that arise within. Each of us has unique needs and they are changing continually. To truly serve those needs, we must stay connected to the wisdom that lies within us and respond with kindness, compassion and acceptance.

With the COVID-19 pandemic, the advice we are hearing on a daily basis is that to stay healthy, we must stay home, as much as we can. Joining a community meditation or attending a public yoga class is simply not an option at the moment. There is so much uncertainty, so much fear and confusion, so much stress and anxiety as we grapple with this unprecedented crisis, yet within our practice there is hope and healing. Through our practice, we can find a place of calm amidst the chaos, we can navigate our way to a safe harbour, we can harness the power of mindful awareness and compassion and lovingkindness to come home to ourselves. Let this be an opportunity to create and discover new ways to explore mindfulness in your everyday life, no matter where you find yourself.

Take refuge in your practice and let it help you cultivate peace and equanimity as we weather this storm together. Stay healthy, stay safe, stay home.

Look with new eyes

Unsettled sky

I have a new student who has come to yoga seeking help in managing chronic pain and stress.  We often talk before and after class, and I try to provide a welcoming space where she can share her thoughts and fears, where she can develop and explore a practice that will nourish and support her.  In my years of teaching so far, I have encountered wide ranging stories of what first drew students to the practice of yoga, and I have found that pain and stress management are quite commonly cited.  For those of you who are long-time practitioners, I am certain you can remember a time when your practice was a friend and ally that supported you through challenges with your health, whether it was an injury, an illness, or emotional turbulence that required yoga’s sage and patient guidance.  No matter the reason we first step onto the yogic path, we quickly discover its myriad benefits if we are paying attention, and we learn to weave its lessons into the way we live our lives, and the way we treat ourselves and others.

All of our life experiences inform the way we perceive the world around us.  When we allow ourselves to be open and receptive, when we approach each moment with curiosity, these perceptions can be fluid and flexible; rather than being bound by a rigid set of assumptions and expectations, we are free to experience whatever new possibilities arise, allowing them to enrich and expand our perspectives on the world.  That being said, if you have ever experienced a debilitating chronic condition – depression, anxiety, auto-immune disease, neurological disorder, chronic pain from any number of sources – there might be times when it feels like those assumptions and expectations are what’s keeping you afloat.  With the student I mentioned above, she has become accustomed to describing her condition and symptoms in a particular way, evaluating and rating her pain in a particular way, viewing all aspects of her life through the specific lens of her condition.  She has been practicing mindfulness for many years, since long before her diagnosis, and it has provided a great measure of comfort and ease amidst the pain and uncertainty.  However, like any ritual or routine that we embrace, I believe that even practices that are intended to be mindful can become rote, done on auto-pilot, without truly and fully connecting to the present moment – particularly when that moment includes pain and suffering.

One of the qualities we cultivate through our practice is resilience. We learn to find equanimity and calm amidst a storm of sensation or emotion. We learn to sit with unease and discomfort and accept it as part of our experience. In a recent class I was talking about resilience and how our practice teaches us to distinguish between pain and discomfort – in terms of our asana practice, determining what we can sit with and what might need a modification to ensure we are not heading towards injury. After class, this student asked how we make that determination – she is experiencing some level of pain all the time so how does she differentiate between one pain and another? I suggested that she try changing her vocabulary around pain. She is so used to characterizing pain for her doctors and attaching a numerical value to express its intensity that those labels and judgments could become shackles that prevent her from moving beyond the pain. By releasing the labels, by accepting that all of it is simply sensation, she can then approach whatever she might be feeling with a greater sense of openness and curiosity, observing sensations without judging them, and without tying them to past stories and expectations. The idea of not labelling the pain was a revelation – a new idea that could help release an old pattern no longer serving a useful purpose.

When we meditate, spending time with the natural rise and fall of our breath and body sensations, we can open ourselves to the endless possibilities that exist in each moment. If we keep returning to assumptions and labels we have used in the past, they will limit how and what we perceive, they will limit our ability to grow and flourish, to become resilient and strong. Our practice is one of continuously letting go, placing our full attention on the moment as it arises and then releasing it completely so we have space to invite the next moment into our awareness.

I invite you to observe your own practice and notice what you find. Do you see well-worn patterns, labels and reactions and expectations that arise automatically? What changes could you make, what new ideas could you explore to invite a fresh perspective? As Marcel Proust advised, “The real voyage of discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Look upon yourself and the world around you with new eyes, and see what discoveries await.

The two arrows

When we welcome mindful practices like yoga and meditation into our lives, we learn about the myriad benefits they can bring.  We might feel them physically: less pain, more energy, softness, strength.  We might feel them on a mental or emotional level: less stress and anxiety, greater ease and calm.  Pay attention to the present moment, and all of these benefits can unfold for us.  It sounds so simple, and yet I am often reminded that ‘simple’ does not make it ‘easy’.

When we practice mindfulness, we seek to pay attention to the present moment in an open and receptive way, without judgment or attachment.  However, as human beings we unconsciously form judgments about all that we experience – good, bad, pleasant, unpleasant, happy, sad, the list goes on.  Mindfulness does not stop the judgments altogether, but it makes us aware of them when they arise, and more importantly, it teaches us to release our attachment to those judgments; we learn to accept what arises just as it is without attaching a story to it, without getting carried away from the present moment in that story.  Again, this sounds simple enough on the surface, but learning to release our attachment to the narratives we create can be very challenging, especially when those narratives come from deep-seated places and experiences within us.

When our attention rests fully in the present, we are witness to all that arises in that moment. For example, when we attend to sensation in the body, we begin to notice that sensations ebb and flow moment by moment – an itchiness here, a tingling there, warmth on my back, coldness in my feet.  When we attend to the breath we might notice that inhales and exhales differ in length and breadth and depth, and the breath moves differently in different areas of the body.  When we attend to our thoughts we might notice more busyness some days than others, or that certain thoughts come back again and again, and others seem to appear out of nowhere.  As we deepen our practice of mindfulness, we notice more and more about each moment’s experience, and we cultivate the ability to do so with less and less attachment.

In the Buddhist tradition, it is said that the root of all suffering is attachment.  We are attached to the desire to have (craving what is good, pleasant, happy) and the desire to not have (aversion to what is bad, unpleasant, sad).  We get attached to our judgments and perceptions of people and places and things.  When something arises in our experience, two things can happen: we can react automatically based on these preconceived notions that we have developed over our lifetime, or we can respond from a different place, a place that is open and receptive, a place of compassion and equanimity.  If we respond from this place, we can view the experience through a different lens and observe its nuances without those old judgments colouring our perception and causing us suffering.

When we sit down to meditate and we open our awareness to the changing experience of each moment, at some point we will inevitably be confronted by the suffering of our judgments and attachments.  We attend to the sensations in our body and a sharp pain arises.  Most of us would naturally feel an aversion to the pain; we might also attach a unique story to this particular pain – a story about an injury or illness, a story about something stressful, a story that makes us feel fearful of this pain.  There is a Buddhist parable about two arrows, and the first arrow is this initial sharp pain.  After we have been struck by this first arrow, would we intentionally shoot ourselves with a second arrow?  Of course not – and yet we do this through our unconscious reaction to the pain and our attachment to the story we create around it.  It is this reaction that is the second arrow of suffering, and while we cannot always control the first arrow, we can definitely work on stopping the second one – or at least reduce its impact.

The first arrow could appear in our practice as a physical sensation, as a mental or emotional sensation, or perhaps as something we perceive as energetic or spiritual.  We practice mindfulness so that we can cultivate resources like compassion, lovingkindness, acceptance, and equanimity.  We often think of directing these resources to our loved ones and those in the world around us, but it is vitally important that we also direct them towards ourselves.  When the first arrow strikes, we call upon these resources to help us respond consciously in a balanced way.  We feel that sharp pain – or deep loss, betrayal, anxiety, humiliation – and we reach into our heart and tap into our compassion and lovingkindness.  We sit with the pain and we accept it as part of this moment’s experience.  We resist the stories that want to attach themselves to the pain and carry us away from the experience of it.

Mindfulness is not an easy practice when we start to peel back the layers of our experience, but it is one that is full of rewards and enduring benefits.  Mindfulness helps us come home to ourselves, to create a place within us that is warm and welcoming and compassionate and accepting of all the many facets of who we are.  Indian spiritual leader Osho reminded us: “Drop the idea of becoming someone because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realise it.” Mindfulness helps us find our way to this realisation, recognising our innate wisdom and beauty and letting it guide us in the way we treat ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Giving thanks

In Canada, today is a day of giving thanks for all of the blessings in our life. We have so much to be grateful for on any given day, even in times of challenge and duress.  I am deeply grateful to all of you for your kindness and support, and as a gift on this day of Thanksgiving, I offer you a new meditation called Find Peace in Gratitude. I hope you enjoy it and it helps to remind you of all that you have to be thankful for.

Here is a favourite quote that I often see shared at this time of year, from author Melody Beattie:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates and vision for tomorrow.

Be Here Now

The greatest and yet simplest gift that our mindfulness practice brings is a connection to the present moment.  When we inhabit the present moment, we can open ourselves to all of its possibilities, its opportunities, the full experience of that moment in time.  When we release our attachment to our busy thinking mind, our past regrets and future worries, we can simply be in the Now.  In this moment lies the possibility for peace and joy; in this moment lies an opportunity to grow and heal.

My second meditation on Insight Timer has reached the head of the queue and is now live!  Be Here Now is a practice that begins with awareness of your breath and your surroundings, and then it guides you on a scan of the body to help you connect to the full experience of each moment.  I invite you to explore this practice whenever you find yourself distracted or disconnected, feeling stress or anxiety, or simply in need of respite from the busyness of your day.

Being here now helps you to cultivate a sense of peace and calm that will allow you to navigate whatever arises on your path.

Connecting with nature

This was the sublime view from my meditation cushion this morning.  I am on holiday, so my ‘cushion’ was a rolled towel set upon the rocks by the lake. Meditation doesn’t require any special tools or circumstances – all that is required is a willingness to show up and explore the present moment,  with an open mind and a compassionate heart. I was serenaded by birdsong, felt the cool morning air on my skin and the texture of the rocks beneath my seat – such a simple yet beautiful way to begin the day with mindful awareness.

The power of meditation

Meditation has been an integral part of my life for a long time.  It has helped me navigate some treacherous waters – acute illness, family tragedy, profound loss.  It has also been there in times of joy and triumph, granting me a sense of balance and perspective and deep gratitude.  To anyone who asks (and probably a few who didn’t!), I extol the virtues of meditation, its myriad gifts and benefits, and all the ways we can incorporate mindfulness into everyday life so that we spend more time inhabiting the present moment, with all its possibilities.

There is a tool I discovered several years ago that has been a friend and guide on my meditation journey.  I have recommended it to countless students and seen them share it with family and friends as they spread the word about this beautiful healing practice.  Now, I am filled with gratitude to become part of this very tool, affording me the opportunity to stay connected to my students wherever they may be, and to grow my community as I continue to share the healing power of meditation.

For those of you who would like to practice with me from the comfort of your computer, tablet, or phone, you will now find me on Insight Timer (https://insighttimer.com/). My first meditation just went live – The Calming Power of the Breath – and I have uploaded another recording that should be available in the coming weeks.  Much as I would love to immediately populate Insight Timer with a broad selection of recordings for you, it takes time for the Insight team to approve all of the recordings they receive, and they release them in small batches of 10 so that all new meditations get good exposure.  They are apparently receiving so many submissions these days that they cannot keep up and there is backlog! While this means that it will be a couple of weeks before you can access more meditations from me, it also means that there will be fresh offerings from a variety of wonderful teachers arriving on the app daily.  If you are not already using this fantastic tool in your practice, I encourage you to download the free app and begin exploring all its features.

I welcome your comments and feedback, as well as any requests or suggestions for future offerings.  The first meditation is The Calming Power of the Breath, a brief practice to help you attend to your breath and invite a sense of tranquility within.  You can follow me on Insight Timer to be notified when my next meditation is released – Be Here Now, a grounding body scan practice that connects you to breath and body sensations as you explore what each new moment brings.

Grab your phone, find a tall comfortable seat, settle into stillness, and let the healing power of meditation infuse your life with mindful awareness, equanimity, and joy.