Pulling weeds & planting flowers

Spring blossoms

There is a Sufi story I have shared in class several times over the years, its author unknown. It’s called Mullah Nasrin and the Dandelions, and it goes like this:

One day a man named Mullah Nasrin decided to take up gardening. He loved flowers and vegetables and he became an adept gardener. But when his garden became plagued with dandelions, Mullah became more and more upset. Finally he couldn’t take it anymore. He travelled to the palace of the king and consulted the king’s own personal gardener. The royal gardener gave Mullah instructions on how to get rid of the dandelions. Mullah returned home full of enthusiasm and followed the instructions perfectly. But still the dandelions returned. Really angry now, Mullah returned to the king’s palace and found the royal gardener. “You’re a fraud!” he hollered. “Your remedy was no better than the rest! What else can I do about these dandelions?” The royal gardener looked thoughtful and stroked his chin. Finally he said softly, “Mullah Nasrin, there’s only one thing to do. You must learn to love dandelions.

In mindfulness practice, we are constant gardeners, tending the landscapes of mind, body and spirit. Yoga teaches us the merits of self-study, Svadhyaya, deepening our awareness to reveal the nature of our true Self. When we take the time to observe things like physical, mental and emotional patterns in daily life, we might notice habits, biases, judgments, or assumptions that are shaped by past experience but no longer reflect who we are in this moment. Once we become aware of these old patterns that no longer serve us, we can choose to release them – to pull these weeds from our garden and make space for new plants to flourish.

Neuropsychologist and meditation teacher Rick Hanson speaks often of our ability to change the way our minds work by attending to our thoughts and experiences (check out his fascinating book, Buddha’s Brain: The Practical Neuroscience of Happiness, Love & Wisdom). As human beings, we have a negativity bias that is built into us as a survival mechanism. We learn from our past experiences, and those that caused us physical or emotional harm influence the way we perceive and respond to similar situations in the future. To balance this negativity bias and give positivity a chance to take root, Dr. Hanson advises us to take the time to fully embrace positive experiences, allowing them to be absorbed into our awareness to create a lasting effect over time. In an excellent TEDx talk several years ago, he offered a simple exercise to illustrate this practice: recall a positive experience (e.g., the love of a friend/partner/child/pet), sit with that experience for a short time to enhance its effects (e.g., the warm glow you feel inside as you think about the person), and let those effects be absorbed by the mind and body. The more we allow ourselves to fully experience positive thoughts and emotions, the less room there is in our mental chatter for negativity and distress.

Now, what about Mullah Nasrin and his dandelions? Dr. Hanson might say that Mullah could call upon the warm glow he feels when he looks at his beautiful garden and try to associate that same warm feeling with the dandelions. When negativity arises, this technique does not ask us to push it away or deny it; rather, we infuse the negative with positive, we use the positive experience as an antidote to help release us from the suffering caused by the negative one. This could be an effective tool for addressing difficult or traumatic experiences from the past that are creating unhealthy or unhelpful patterns in our thoughts and actions today.

On the other hand, yoga has another teaching that Mullah Nasrin might find helpful: Santosha. Through the practice of Santosha we find contentment and acceptance, embracing whatever arises in our experience. Struggling against the reality of our experience can only lead to suffering – so instead let’s swim with the tide, let’s welcome each moment, each thought, each emotion and sensation as if we had invited it. Open your heart and your mind. Be curious. Explore. Take the time to notice the blessings and simple pleasures in your life and let the joy they bring you fill your vessel to overflowing. Maybe the joy will displace some deeply rooted weeds in your garden, making space for beautiful new flowers to grow. Or maybe, you’ll simply learn to love your dandelions.

Dream a little dream

Whenever we find ourselves experiencing transition in our life, it feels like a natural time to reflect. We reflect back upon the path that brought us here, we reflect inward and notice how we may have grown, changed, been affected by our path, and we look ahead with anticipation to what might lie on the horizon before us. The present moment may be the only moment we are truly guaranteed, but reflecting on our past brings our awareness to its teachings and enables us to apply those lessons as we embark upon the journey ahead.

Mindfulness practice teaches us to notice our attachments and judgments so we can then release them and observe what arises in an open and receptive way. Reflect upon the last 12 months with this sense of open curiosity; let it be an exploration that allows you to identify highs and lows, joys and sorrows, lessons learned that perhaps changed the way you do things, see things, respond to things. What challenged you this year? What caused you to feel pain or sorrow or anger or loss? Acknowledge the trials and the missteps and the frustrations with compassion. If they imparted some wisdom, opened a window to a new perspective or opportunity, you may wish to give thanks for their lessons. Now, what brought you joy this year? What made your heart sing? What lifted your spirits and made you come alive? Look back with a smile in your heart and be grateful for all of these shining lights that lit the way forward.

When you consider the highs of the past year, do you notice any themes or patterns? Are there certain actions, places, people that have woven a common thread of joy through your experience? There are no guarantees for our path ahead – there is only this moment and the way we respond to it. However, living with mindful presence does not preclude our dreaming and imagining and cultivating joy and light on the path ahead. The more joy we find in everyday occurrences, in simple acts, in our sensory experience of the world around us, the more inclined we are to joy. These actions and places and people that brought us joy this year are the starting point, the realisation that joy is possible even in the midst of our challenge and darkness and sorrow. When we look back and see our joys, they become familiar friends that we will recognise more easily the next time around – we will welcome them in each time they arrive and be grateful for whatever they have to teach us.

Soon we will celebrate the end of one year and usher in the next. Let this be an opportunity to reflect back on the year that was, to gaze inward and acknowledge what may have changed, and to cast your eyes and imagination forward to the year that lies ahead. While there may be sadness or pain in our future, there will always be opportunities to find joy – we need only open our hearts, our minds, our dreams and welcome it in.

A walk in the forest

The present moment is a gift. Unfortunately, it is one we often neglect as our thoughts rush headlong into the future, planning and worrying, or they get mired in the past, reliving and regretting. When we allow ourselves to connect fully to the present moment, something magical happens – we open ourselves to its possibilities. Our kind attention gives us new eyes through which to experience the world around us and we awaken to all that moment has to offer.

The other day I spent the morning wandering through the forest along the lake. The natural world is deeply nourishing to me – it soothes, mind, body, and spirit. As I climbed over rocks and roots, felt the softness of cedar and pine and moss beneath my feet, I was fully awake and firmly grounded in the present. My attention was rewarded with beautiful treasures as I explored with wonder and curiosity the world around me: mushrooms of all shapes and sizes were peering out from fallen limbs and leaves. The forest floor was alive with these little gems, and had I been hurrying along lost in thought, I would have missed their marvelous show.

Joy comes to us not in big, bright bursts, but more often in glimpses and glimmers that we can only see when we are paying attention. Where can you find little gems in your daily life? What slivers of joy come into view when you pay attention? The softness of the breeze on your face, the smell of bread fresh out of the oven, the warmth of laughter shared between friends. Each moment is an opportunity to experience joy, even in its tiniest measure. As you move through your day, I invite you to welcome the gifts of each moment and see what treasures await.

Simple joys

After a week of sun and heat, it is rainy and cool today.  I love days like this. Soft days. Days where we can be quiet and simply listen to the rain falling outside our window; days where we can soften the edges of our expectations, give ourselves permission to slow down and savour each moment as it comes.  What treasures will we find when we pay attention to the present moment? What joys await us when we pause our busyness long enough to appreciate the simple beauty of raindrops, the way they nourish the world around us, the symphony they play as they land upon our rooftops? Sir Francis Bacon reminded us that “We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand and melting like a snowflake.” Let yourself pause today to appreciate the simple joys that surround you, the stars in your hands and the raindrops falling softly on your head.