Tag: impermanence

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Reflecting back to guide us forward

Autumn sky reflections

A new year and a new decade is upon us. The end of the calendar year is a natural time to reflect back on what was and to look forward with hope and anticipation to what might lie ahead. In the Northern Hemisphere, the end of the year coincides with the beginning of winter, a season that encourages us to draw our focus inward, to observe and connect with our inner landscape and reflect upon what we find.

Amid the celebration and festivity, take some time to consider not only the year that has come to a close, but the last ten years as well. What events stand out for you? What are you most proud of? What did you learn that has changed the way you think, feel, live your daily life? What were the triumphs in those ten years, and what were the challenges? What beliefs, teachings, and practices served you well, and which ones might be limiting your ability to move forward on your path?

The only constant in life is change. At a glance it might seem like we are the same person we were a decade ago, but when we look closer the differences are clear. It would be easy to allow our inner monologue to deafen us with criticism over our perceived failures, our losses, the summits we did not climb, the goals we did not achieve. However, what we must do instead is listen to our deepest self – that wise little voice within us, so often shouted down by the external world and our busy thinking mind. That voice will remind us that we are extraordinary because after ten years we are still alive. We are older and wiser and more beautiful each day. Every triumph and tragedy has taught us something about ourselves and made us more whole, more human. We can look back at the changes we have experienced and welcome them with an open heart, offering forgiveness and compassion for the suffering we might have caused ourselves or others.

On December 22nd, spiritual leader Ram Dass left his broken body to go home. His dear friend Jack Kornfield said, “Home is not somewhere else. It is here, in life and death, in the eternal dance of consciousness, weaving together form and the formless mystery from which it all comes. Ram Dass is the vastness reminding us that in the end, there is only love.” In 1997 Ram Dass suffered a stroke and, rather than being discouraged by its debilitating effects, he used that monumental change to embody his teachings, to continue to share his love and compassion and wisdom with the world. If change is the one constant in life, death is the one inevitability. Ram Dass saw death simply as a change to prepare for, to make peace with, to welcome and accept like any other. May his teachings live on and flourish in the millions of hearts he touched.

Ram Dass – Be Here Now
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Where no shadow can touch

I recently went for a long walk in the woods as daylight was fading, and as I gazed into the sky I felt light enough to fly and at the same time deeply rooted.  I was fully present, welcoming each sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell that my senses encountered, and yet releasing them as easily as they arrived, remaining open and receptive to whatever the next moment held.  When the walk ended and my focus returned to conversations and tasks, echoes of that feeling of lightness remained for some time.  This is the healing beauty of mindfulness, of truly inhabiting the here and now.

Boiled down to its essence, mindfulness is about being present.  When we live in this moment now, we are not plagued with regret about past events, and we do not feel a crush of worry about the future.  Being in the here and now means that we have released our attachment to past and future and we have opened ourselves to whatever the present moment might bring.  Unfortunately, for most of us, being here now is a fleeting experience, as the distractions of daily life dangle before us like juicy carrots, stealing our attention away.  We chase after the carrots and they lead us down one rabbit hole after another, through a maze of tunnels constructed from our past conversations, relationships and traumas, our future plans and worries and what-ifs. We could spend all of our time in this maze, our attention tumbling from one thought to the next, one regret, one worry to the next. Or instead, we could harness the power of mindfulness to bring us back to the surface, breathing in fresh air, opening our eyes to the clouds and the trees and letting them return us to this moment.

When my thoughts are racing and I get lost in the maze of past and future, gazing skyward is a simple way for me to pause and reconnect with the present.  There is something about the sky that calms me, quiets the busyness within, anchors my attention in the here and now.  Perhaps it is the ever-changing nature of the sky – clouds of all shapes and sizes, endless shades of blue, birds floating in and out of view as they navigate the breeze – an apt metaphor for the impermanence of life itself.  And then there is the miraculous experience of sunrise and sunset, every single day the sky ablaze with new colours, a reminder that even in our darkest times, there is still beauty to be found.  When our path seems unclear, when challenges abound, we need something to remind us of that beauty, the beauty of possibility and change and growth that lies in each moment. 

What makes you feel fully present? What anchors your attention in the here and now and allows you to open to its possibilities? Is there something simple you can reach for when your heart feels heavy, when your mind feels scattered and your attention is scurrying through a maze of what-ifs and worries?  Mindfulness is not a cure for all that ails us, but it is a powerful tool, a wise and supportive friend that can take our hand and lead us to a place of light when we feel mired in darkness.  Though we may share a common desire to live fully in each moment, the ways in which we connect to that moment are unique.  Maybe it is the sound and rhythm of your nourishing breath that grounds you. Maybe bringing your hand to rest on your heart reconnects you to the experience of this moment. Maybe you open your ears to the sounds around you and are returned to the here and now.  Or maybe, like me, you gaze skyward: “Look, up at the sky. There is a light, a beauty up there, that no shadow can touch.” J.R.R. Tolkien

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Live the questions


“I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

A friend shared an article with me recently that included this quote.  It is one that gives me pause every time I read it, and this time in particular it resonated deeply. Over the past few months, I have written often about mindfulness, its myriad benefits and also its challenges. Given the latter, some might say that true mindfulness is not for the faint of heart! When we embark upon the journey of mindfulness practice, we seek to embody certain attitudes that guide the way we respond to what arises within us and in the world around us, moment by moment. Among the most challenging of these attitudes can be Patience and Acceptance – which is exactly what Rilke asks of us in this beautiful passage.

The more we practice, the more familiar we become with two important realities: uncertainty and impermanence. Nothing is guaranteed, and nothing that arises will remain exactly the same for any length of time. Put another way, for all the beauty and possibility that lies in our hopes and dreams, we must acknowledge that we can never truly know what is coming until it is here, and the only certainty we can rely upon is that everything in our life will inevitably change. How then do we continue to hope and dream and imagine in the face of this reality? We learn to embrace the very things that challenge us and welcome them as opportunities to learn and explore – ourselves, each other, the world we live in.

I think it is safe to say that we have all experienced impatience at some point in our life. It can be as simple as the impatience of waiting for a delayed flight, an appointment with someone who is running behind, a traffic jam that makes you late for an important event.  What do all of these things have in common? They are external circumstances that have caused us frustration or inconvenience – and they are all beyond our immediate control.  This is where mindfulness can step in, providing a refuge from our frustration and an antidote to the spiraling thoughts that can easily lead us down a path to anger or fear or impulsive reactions.  When we notice ourselves becoming impatient and annoyed, it can act as a mindful reminder to acknowledge what is and is not within our control, and to accept what we cannot change.  As always, this is easier said than done, but then that is why we call it a practice – we are practicing these skills, honing our abilities, cultivating them like seedlings planted in our garden.

It takes time to build a deep and abiding mindfulness practice – perhaps a lifetime. A vital part of this journey is to be patient as we encounter challenges and disappointments, as we look to the horizon for answers and find only questions. If we can accept that change is inevitable and the future will always remain unknown to us, perhaps we will find a sense of peace that allows us to truly inhabit the present moment and embrace whatever it may bring – to love the questions and to live them fully, right here and now.

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Conscious intention

Intention is the core of all conscious life. It is our intentions that create Karma, our intentions that help others, our intentions that lead us away from the delusions of individuality towards the immutable verities of enlightened awareness. Conscious intention colours and moves everything.

~Master Hsing Yun

A new year is upon us and we naturally look forward with eager eyes, filled with anticipation and curiosity about what might lie ahead. It has become common practice to make resolutions for the coming year, promises for what we will do, how we will be, changes we will make. What resolutions have you made in past years? How many of those promises were successfully fulfilled?

I have never really been one for New Year’s resolutions. Since mindfulness practice became part of my daily life, I find that what resonates with me instead is trying to live with intention – not just at the dawn of a new year, but every day. As Vietnamese Buddhist monk Thich Nhat Hanh says, “Waking up this morning I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully each moment, and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.” We need not wait for a new calendar year to set intentions for how we will go about our day, how we will treat ourselves, how we will interact with the world around us.

Through mindfulness we learn to pay conscious attention to the present moment, and we come to realise that this moment is all that we are truly guaranteed. When we understand the impermanent nature of things, it is not that we must abandon all planning for the future, but we can invite a sense of perspective into our plans. When we plan a holiday, it can bring such joy and excitement to investigate all the sights we want to see, the food we want to eat, the adventures we want to take. However, with all of that planning, it can be deeply disappointing when the trip we imagined in our dreams turns out quite differently in reality. The same holds true for promises we make to ourselves or to others that in the end simply cannot be kept. We cannot truly know what lies ahead for us – change, challenge, the unexpected arises on our path and as a result plans may go awry and promises may go unfulfilled. While we are unable to anticipate exactly what the future holds, we can choose to open our hearts and minds and be willing to entertain all possibilities with a sense of acceptance and equanimity.

Practicing mindfulness teaches us how to live with intention. We can intentionally invite compassion and lovingkindness into our hearts so that we may nourish ourselves and share it with those around us. We can intentionally respond to challenge and duress with a sense of equanimity. We can intentionally accept the changing nature of life, releasing our attachment to outcomes we cannot control. As Tibetan Buddhist nun Pema Chödrön advises, “Welcome the present moment as if you had invited it. It is all we ever have so we might as well work with it rather than struggle against it. We might as well make it our friend and teacher rather than our enemy.”

As you look to the year ahead, what intentions do you wish to invite into your heart? Perhaps ask yourself this question as you sit in meditation and notice what arises. We need not wait for a clock to strike or a calendar page to turn – we can infuse each day with conscious intention, welcoming each moment as a friend, a teacher, an opportunity to experience something new.