The two arrows

When we welcome mindful practices like yoga and meditation into our lives, we learn about the myriad benefits they can bring.  We might feel them physically: less pain, more energy, softness, strength.  We might feel them on a mental or emotional level: less stress and anxiety, greater ease and calm.  Pay attention to the present moment, and all of these benefits can unfold for us.  It sounds so simple, and yet I am often reminded that ‘simple’ does not make it ‘easy’.

When we practice mindfulness, we seek to pay attention to the present moment in an open and receptive way, without judgment or attachment.  However, as human beings we unconsciously form judgments about all that we experience – good, bad, pleasant, unpleasant, happy, sad, the list goes on.  Mindfulness does not stop the judgments altogether, but it makes us aware of them when they arise, and more importantly, it teaches us to release our attachment to those judgments; we learn to accept what arises just as it is without attaching a story to it, without getting carried away from the present moment in that story.  Again, this sounds simple enough on the surface, but learning to release our attachment to the narratives we create can be very challenging, especially when those narratives come from deep-seated places and experiences within us.

When our attention rests fully in the present, we are witness to all that arises in that moment. For example, when we attend to sensation in the body, we begin to notice that sensations ebb and flow moment by moment – an itchiness here, a tingling there, warmth on my back, coldness in my feet.  When we attend to the breath we might notice that inhales and exhales differ in length and breadth and depth, and the breath moves differently in different areas of the body.  When we attend to our thoughts we might notice more busyness some days than others, or that certain thoughts come back again and again, and others seem to appear out of nowhere.  As we deepen our practice of mindfulness, we notice more and more about each moment’s experience, and we cultivate the ability to do so with less and less attachment.

In the Buddhist tradition, it is said that the root of all suffering is attachment.  We are attached to the desire to have (craving what is good, pleasant, happy) and the desire to not have (aversion to what is bad, unpleasant, sad).  We get attached to our judgments and perceptions of people and places and things.  When something arises in our experience, two things can happen: we can react automatically based on these preconceived notions that we have developed over our lifetime, or we can respond from a different place, a place that is open and receptive, a place of compassion and equanimity.  If we respond from this place, we can view the experience through a different lens and observe its nuances without those old judgments colouring our perception and causing us suffering.

When we sit down to meditate and we open our awareness to the changing experience of each moment, at some point we will inevitably be confronted by the suffering of our judgments and attachments.  We attend to the sensations in our body and a sharp pain arises.  Most of us would naturally feel an aversion to the pain; we might also attach a unique story to this particular pain – a story about an injury or illness, a story about something stressful, a story that makes us feel fearful of this pain.  There is a Buddhist parable about two arrows, and the first arrow is this initial sharp pain.  After we have been struck by this first arrow, would we intentionally shoot ourselves with a second arrow?  Of course not – and yet we do this through our unconscious reaction to the pain and our attachment to the story we create around it.  It is this reaction that is the second arrow of suffering, and while we cannot always control the first arrow, we can definitely work on stopping the second one – or at least reduce its impact.

The first arrow could appear in our practice as a physical sensation, as a mental or emotional sensation, or perhaps as something we perceive as energetic or spiritual.  We practice mindfulness so that we can cultivate resources like compassion, lovingkindness, acceptance, and equanimity.  We often think of directing these resources to our loved ones and those in the world around us, but it is vitally important that we also direct them towards ourselves.  When the first arrow strikes, we call upon these resources to help us respond consciously in a balanced way.  We feel that sharp pain – or deep loss, betrayal, anxiety, humiliation – and we reach into our heart and tap into our compassion and lovingkindness.  We sit with the pain and we accept it as part of this moment’s experience.  We resist the stories that want to attach themselves to the pain and carry us away from the experience of it.

Mindfulness is not an easy practice when we start to peel back the layers of our experience, but it is one that is full of rewards and enduring benefits.  Mindfulness helps us come home to ourselves, to create a place within us that is warm and welcoming and compassionate and accepting of all the many facets of who we are.  Indian spiritual leader Osho reminded us: “Drop the idea of becoming someone because you are already a masterpiece. You cannot be improved. You have only to come to it, to know it, to realise it.” Mindfulness helps us find our way to this realisation, recognising our innate wisdom and beauty and letting it guide us in the way we treat ourselves, others, and the world around us.

Giving thanks

In Canada, today is a day of giving thanks for all of the blessings in our life. We have so much to be grateful for on any given day, even in times of challenge and duress.  I am deeply grateful to all of you for your kindness and support, and as a gift on this day of Thanksgiving, I offer you a new meditation called Find Peace in Gratitude. I hope you enjoy it and it helps to remind you of all that you have to be thankful for.

Here is a favourite quote that I often see shared at this time of year, from author Melody Beattie:

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates and vision for tomorrow.

Be bodacious

Each of us has the right, the possibility to invent ourselves daily. If a person does not invent herself, she will be invented. Be bodacious enough to invent yourself.  ~Maya Angelou

A dear friend shared this quote with me recently.  The words of Maya Angelou never cease to inspire and amaze me with their insight and wisdom.  With each day comes new possibilities, new opportunities. And yet, how often do we truly explore them?  How often do we have the courage and audacity to fully embrace change, to evolve, to invent ourselves daily? I suspect that for most of us, the hurdle that lies between us and invention is our own inner critic, the judgments we lay upon ourselves over and over that limit our ability to love and accept who we are in each and every moment.

The first step on the eight-limbed yogic path is Ahimsa, non-violence.  To practice Ahimsa means to do no harm in thought, word or deed – no harm to ourselves, to others, to the world around us.  To practice Ahimsa we must truly embody compassion and lovingkindness, and this begins with ourselves.  The Dalai Lama asks: “What is love? Love is the absence of judgment.”  Through mindfulness we seek to observe each moment, each thought, emotion, and sensation, without judgment or attachment.  Our mindful awareness shines a light on our inner critic and when these judgments are exposed and identified, they begin to lose their power over us.

In my classes I often invite students to turn their gaze inward, to reflect within. Both yoga and meditation are internal practices that enable us to know our true selves, to connect with the innate wisdom and beauty that lies deep within us.  The trouble is that to reach this inner sanctum, we must slay dragons like self-doubt and fear, we must awaken from what author / meditation teacher Tara Brach calls the trance of unworthiness and fill ourselves to the brim with compassion, with lovingkindness, with acceptance of all that we are and all that we can be.  Armed with the power of self-love and true acceptance, we can connect to our intuition and plumb the depths of our wisdom to guide us on our journey, our evolution, the bodacious invention of ourselves daily.

Gratitude

“He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe is as good as dead; his eyes are closed.” ~Albert Einstein

“Who is rich? Those who are happy with what they have.” ~Jewish scripture

It’s easy to get so caught up in the day-to-day challenges of our life that we forget to open our eyes to the myriad gifts that surround us.  It’s easy to let our attention become so sharply focused on the future and what we want to acquire, achieve, accomplish, that we neglect to look in the periphery of our present and acknowledge what we already have.  At any given time on our path we could be standing triumphantly on a peak, mired in a deep valley, or walking steadily somewhere in between.  No matter where we find ourselves, whether the path seems clear or hazy, it is exactly the right time to practice gratitude.

There is something quite profound in regularly giving thanks for the simple blessings in our life.  The practice of gratitude helps us shift our focus to the unsung heroes that support us on our journey.  We can give thanks for the love of family and friends, for the roof over our heads, for the technology that allows me to share these words with you and enables you to access them from virtually anywhere.  We can give thanks for the gifts of hearing and sight, of taste, touch and smell that allow us to connect to the world around us and marvel at its beauty. Even in the throes of despair or disease, we can give thanks simply for the breath that nourishes us and gives us life in that moment.

Gratitude can offer us a refuge from our inner and outer struggles.  It shifts our gaze away from our challenges and helps us cultivate a sense of contentment, balance and perspective.  We are reminded to appreciate the simple joys of life, the gift of being alive, and we begin to recognise that this too shall pass – whatever ‘this’ may be.  We remember that change is our constant companion and with each moment arrives new possibilities, new opportunities to grow, to learn, to heal, to stand rapt in awe at the simple blessings this moment brings.

Gratitude can be practiced anytime and anywhere, and like any skill, the more often we practice, the more adept we become.  When you awaken each morning, ask yourself: what am I grateful for on this day?  When feelings like frustration, anger, loneliness or pain arise, invite yourself to pause and bring to mind one thing for which you are grateful in that moment.  The more often we pause to wonder and we acknowledge that we are truly rich, the better able we will be to find contentment within ourselves and the world around us.

A walk in the forest

The present moment is a gift. Unfortunately, it is one we often neglect as our thoughts rush headlong into the future, planning and worrying, or they get mired in the past, reliving and regretting. When we allow ourselves to connect fully to the present moment, something magical happens – we open ourselves to its possibilities. Our kind attention gives us new eyes through which to experience the world around us and we awaken to all that moment has to offer.

The other day I spent the morning wandering through the forest along the lake. The natural world is deeply nourishing to me – it soothes, mind, body, and spirit. As I climbed over rocks and roots, felt the softness of cedar and pine and moss beneath my feet, I was fully awake and firmly grounded in the present. My attention was rewarded with beautiful treasures as I explored with wonder and curiosity the world around me: mushrooms of all shapes and sizes were peering out from fallen limbs and leaves. The forest floor was alive with these little gems, and had I been hurrying along lost in thought, I would have missed their marvelous show.

Joy comes to us not in big, bright bursts, but more often in glimpses and glimmers that we can only see when we are paying attention. Where can you find little gems in your daily life? What slivers of joy come into view when you pay attention? The softness of the breeze on your face, the smell of bread fresh out of the oven, the warmth of laughter shared between friends. Each moment is an opportunity to experience joy, even in its tiniest measure. As you move through your day, I invite you to welcome the gifts of each moment and see what treasures await.

Connecting with nature

This was the sublime view from my meditation cushion this morning.  I am on holiday, so my ‘cushion’ was a rolled towel set upon the rocks by the lake. Meditation doesn’t require any special tools or circumstances – all that is required is a willingness to show up and explore the present moment,  with an open mind and a compassionate heart. I was serenaded by birdsong, felt the cool morning air on my skin and the texture of the rocks beneath my seat – such a simple yet beautiful way to begin the day with mindful awareness.

Through the looking glass

Sitting on the streetcar recently I felt a tightening in my stomach. I breathed into the sensation and recognised it immediately – anxiety. I sat with the sensation, stayed connected to my breath, allowed myself to simply be with the anxiety without attachment or mental drama carrying me away. I attuned to the sensation with openness and curiosity and my attention revealed its source: an Alice in Wonderland feeling I have experienced several times before.

My life for more than a decade has been somewhat nomadic. We move every couple of years to a new city/country/continent and each time I start over again from scratch – I build a new community, make new friends, find new jobs, explore my new surroundings. Like Alice tumbling down the rabbit hole, the view before me is sometimes dark, hazy and unclear. I am moving forward but I do not know where I’m going, where or when I’ll land, will there be solid ground when I get to the other side? Sometimes uncertainty can be exciting, exhilarating, filling us with anticipation; other times it can be deeply stressful, even frightening. For me, the trick to managing things like uncertainty is remembering to ground myself in the present moment.  I find stillness, I connect to my breath, I listen to my body and the rise and fall of sensation with compassion, with kindness, with a willingness to open myself up to whatever lies ahead.

Fear, anger, anxiety, sorrow – they are as much a part of our experience as joy, love, happiness and peace. Mindfulness pioneer Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn calls it ‘the full catastrophe’, the richness of life and the inevitability of all the challenges and triumphs, joys and sorrows that entails.  Mindfulness will not make our challenges magically disappear. What it will do is allow us to look at them head on.  When we acknowledge our fear, our anxiety, our uncertainty, we give that experience a name and shine a light on it.  In the light of day it begins to lose its power over us.  We can observe it from a place of calm curiosity without attaching any particular story, meaning or drama to it.  When we attend to ourselves without judgment, in an open and compassionate way, we can learn to accept the full catastrophe, we can even welcome and embrace its highs and lows as an integral part of our extraordinary human experience.