Tag: strength & resilience

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The best way out is always through

Resilient tree growing through a fence
A resilient tree shows us the way through

Resilience. That’s what comes to mind each day as I pass this tree on my walks around the neighbourhood. Resilience in the face of suffering. Perseverance in the midst of pain. 

You might have seen this unusual tree in the photos I shared on Instagram last week as we saw yet another stay-at-home order announced. I offered it as a reminder that we have within us the strength to overcome whatever challenges stand in our way, to make it through to the other side – we need only find a way to connect to it.

Sometimes the challenges we encounter are of our own making, and sometimes they’re beyond our control, arriving seemingly out of nowhere – like this fence. We could be going about our business, this tree was simply growing in the forest, and suddenly something stops us in our tracks. To be honest, I’ve found myself in that very situation in recent months: stopped in my tracks by unexpected health problems. In the face of challenge, in the face of pain and suffering, how do we connect with our inner strength and resilience and harness its power to guide us safely through?

For me, this connection comes through mindfulness, which of course, can take many shapes and forms. Asana and pranayama, the postures and breathwork of yoga, help me release tension and create space in body and mind so that I can open my awareness to signals arising within. Meditation deepens my practice of svadhyaya (self-study) and santosha (contentment) as I observe, notice, embrace my experience without judgment or attachment, with lovingkindness and compassion. I invite mindfulness into my favourite everyday activities – gardening, baking, walking in nature. I give thanks for the many blessings in my life, without glossing over the fact that I’ve lost my job, that I’m struggling with health issues, that I’m tired of being stuck at home in lockdown. I remind myself of the vital importance of self-love, self-care, self-compassion, and self-acceptance. Connecting to the present moment through these practices fosters in me a deeper connection to myself, a greater awareness of who I am beneath all the mental busyness, beneath the self-doubt, the pain, the expectations and uncertainties.

In his poem A Servant to Servants, Robert Frost wrote that “the best way out is always through” and I believe that’s just what mindfulness teaches us. We learn to welcome the present moment exactly as it is – its joy and its pain, its triumph and its sorrow. We learn to practice acceptance of what is rather than fear of what might be or regret for what was. We take it day by day, moment by moment, breath by breath. We make our way through the challenges, fueled by strength and resilience we’ve cultivated within, and like this extraordinary tree, we keep reaching our branches to the sky.

Tree branches reaching to the sky
Branches reaching to the sky
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Anytime, Anywhere

Castelo dos Mouros ~ Sintra, Portugal

I am deeply grateful for my yoga and meditation practice. For many years my practice has helped me navigate choppy seas, find calm amidst the chaos, weather storms of all manner. My practice serves me well during times of joy and triumph too, of course; however, when the path ahead is murky or filled with obstacles, my practice gives me the strength to take the next step and move forward.

We find ourselves at such a place on our path now. We strain to see what lies ahead, but we are venturing into new territory and we do not know exactly where this path will lead. Now more than ever I think we should turn to our practice to calm our worries, soothe our spirits, nourish our minds and bodies, so that we may be strong and resilient in the face of unknown challenges to come.

The beautiful thing about mindfulness practices like yoga and meditation is that we can invite them into our daily life anytime, anywhere. Much as we might wish we could be sitting by a quiet lakeside to meditate, or practicing yoga asana overlooking the ocean beneath swaying palms, more often than not we are simply going about our daily routine at home and work. When we consider creating a home practice, we might be discouraged by thinking that we need to have a dedicated space or special equipment or props. Again, while it would be wonderful to have an entire room for our practice and a collection of blocks and bolsters, blankets and zafus, we can use the space and the everyday items we have on hand anywhere we go.

Need to create a supportive seat for meditation? Sit at the edge of a chair so your feet can rest fully on the floor, or use a couch cushion or folded towel or blanket to sit on, perhaps with your back against a wall. Tuck yourself into an out-of-the-way corner if you can, and simply connect with what arises in your experience moment by moment – the sounds in the room, the temperature of the air on your skin, the sensations in your body, the rise and fall of your breath. You can set a timer on your phone and place it just out of sight, or count your inhales and exhales from one to 30 and back down again, or perhaps simply sit and breathe and notice for any period of time that resonates with you. No special tools, equipment or room needed – just an open mind and a willingness to welcome your experience, whatever it may be.

If you practice yoga asana, there are plenty of items around the house or hotel room we can use to support our practice. Need a mat? Try using a large bath or beach towel. Need some support beneath your seat for a forward fold? A firm cushion or folded blanket or towel is ideal. Want to recline on a bolster for some gentle heart opening and restoration? Use a couch cushion or two, wrap a bed pillow in a large towel, or fold several towels or blankets in long rectangles and stack them with a little staggered edge to support your lower back as you recline. In fact, towels and blankets can be rolled and folded in so many ways, they are the perfect all-purpose prop for any practice. And of course, there are plenty of ways to invite mindful movement into your body without the need for any props at all.

Building a portable practice might seem daunting at first, but it is an opportunity to be creative, to explore different options and ideas, to listen to the needs of your mind and body and respond with just the right practice for that moment. Simply standing in Mountain Pose, inhaling to extend the arms overhead and exhaling to release them by your sides a few times can invigorate the mind and body and ground you in the present moment. Sometimes finding a comfortable seat for meditation can be challenging, especially if you are experiencing pain, an injury or illness; instead, try lying on your back with knees bent and soles of the feet on the floor, inviting a sense of deep rest and ease as you connect with your breath and the sensations that arise within. Each of us has unique needs and they are changing continually. To truly serve those needs, we must stay connected to the wisdom that lies within us and respond with kindness, compassion and acceptance.

With the COVID-19 pandemic, the advice we are hearing on a daily basis is that to stay healthy, we must stay home, as much as we can. Joining a community meditation or attending a public yoga class is simply not an option at the moment. There is so much uncertainty, so much fear and confusion, so much stress and anxiety as we grapple with this unprecedented crisis, yet within our practice there is hope and healing. Through our practice, we can find a place of calm amidst the chaos, we can navigate our way to a safe harbour, we can harness the power of mindful awareness and compassion and lovingkindness to come home to ourselves. Let this be an opportunity to create and discover new ways to explore mindfulness in your everyday life, no matter where you find yourself.

Take refuge in your practice and let it help you cultivate peace and equanimity as we weather this storm together. Stay healthy, stay safe, stay home.

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Look with new eyes

Unsettled sky

I have a new student who has come to yoga seeking help in managing chronic pain and stress.  We often talk before and after class, and I try to provide a welcoming space where she can share her thoughts and fears, where she can develop and explore a practice that will nourish and support her.  In my years of teaching so far, I have encountered wide ranging stories of what first drew students to the practice of yoga, and I have found that pain and stress management are quite commonly cited.  For those of you who are long-time practitioners, I am certain you can remember a time when your practice was a friend and ally that supported you through challenges with your health, whether it was an injury, an illness, or emotional turbulence that required yoga’s sage and patient guidance.  No matter the reason we first step onto the yogic path, we quickly discover its myriad benefits if we are paying attention, and we learn to weave its lessons into the way we live our lives, and the way we treat ourselves and others.

All of our life experiences inform the way we perceive the world around us.  When we allow ourselves to be open and receptive, when we approach each moment with curiosity, these perceptions can be fluid and flexible; rather than being bound by a rigid set of assumptions and expectations, we are free to experience whatever new possibilities arise, allowing them to enrich and expand our perspectives on the world.  That being said, if you have ever experienced a debilitating chronic condition – depression, anxiety, auto-immune disease, neurological disorder, chronic pain from any number of sources – there might be times when it feels like those assumptions and expectations are what’s keeping you afloat.  With the student I mentioned above, she has become accustomed to describing her condition and symptoms in a particular way, evaluating and rating her pain in a particular way, viewing all aspects of her life through the specific lens of her condition.  She has been practicing mindfulness for many years, since long before her diagnosis, and it has provided a great measure of comfort and ease amidst the pain and uncertainty.  However, like any ritual or routine that we embrace, I believe that even practices that are intended to be mindful can become rote, done on auto-pilot, without truly and fully connecting to the present moment – particularly when that moment includes pain and suffering.

One of the qualities we cultivate through our practice is resilience. We learn to find equanimity and calm amidst a storm of sensation or emotion. We learn to sit with unease and discomfort and accept it as part of our experience. In a recent class I was talking about resilience and how our practice teaches us to distinguish between pain and discomfort – in terms of our asana practice, determining what we can sit with and what might need a modification to ensure we are not heading towards injury. After class, this student asked how we make that determination – she is experiencing some level of pain all the time so how does she differentiate between one pain and another? I suggested that she try changing her vocabulary around pain. She is so used to characterizing pain for her doctors and attaching a numerical value to express its intensity that those labels and judgments could become shackles that prevent her from moving beyond the pain. By releasing the labels, by accepting that all of it is simply sensation, she can then approach whatever she might be feeling with a greater sense of openness and curiosity, observing sensations without judging them, and without tying them to past stories and expectations. The idea of not labelling the pain was a revelation – a new idea that could help release an old pattern no longer serving a useful purpose.

When we meditate, spending time with the natural rise and fall of our breath and body sensations, we can open ourselves to the endless possibilities that exist in each moment. If we keep returning to assumptions and labels we have used in the past, they will limit how and what we perceive, they will limit our ability to grow and flourish, to become resilient and strong. Our practice is one of continuously letting go, placing our full attention on the moment as it arises and then releasing it completely so we have space to invite the next moment into our awareness.

I invite you to observe your own practice and notice what you find. Do you see well-worn patterns, labels and reactions and expectations that arise automatically? What changes could you make, what new ideas could you explore to invite a fresh perspective? As Marcel Proust advised, “The real voyage of discovery consists, not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Look upon yourself and the world around you with new eyes, and see what discoveries await.

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The unsung hero

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.” ~Joshua Graham

When we hear about mindfulness, its many virtues are extolled.  We are told that practicing mindfulness will make us more productive at work, improve our memory, help us sleep better, reduce our levels of stress and anxiety.  All of these things are true, and there are so many more benefits to bringing mindfulness into our daily life.  However, at the root of it all is one important benefit that I do not think gets enough mention: resilience.

When we come to our meditation practice, we sit with our present moment experience exactly as it unfolds.  That experience might include pain, anguish, sorrow, frustration, or anger.  Our mind might throw up defenses against these feelings, try to divert our attention, carry us away into dreams of the past or future, but despite its best efforts, we must eventually return to the present and whatever that moment holds for us.  The more time we spend sitting with experiences we label as unpleasant, the more familiar they become.  Rather than seeing them as something to fear and avoid, we recognise that they are part of us, part of our journey, part of the natural ebb and flow of our daily life and experience.

In the yogic tradition, resilience is embodied in the practice of Santosha, contentment.  Through Santosha we learn to accept whatever comes and whatever goes; we cultivate a sense of equanimity and seek to respond to challenges from that balanced place within us.  We grow stronger, building up our resources so that when storms lash at us from all sides, when the waves are so high we cannot see the shore, there is a well of strength deep within that keeps us buoyed until the weather clears.

Looking back at our life, we see grief and loss, joy and triumph, we climbed tall mountains and traversed dark valleys, and we survived through it all by drawing on the strength within us.  On the days when you feel the weather turning, when the skies are dark and the seas are churning, dive deep inside and ignite the fire within, let it burn brightly and guide your way through the storm.