Choosing the direction we will take

Lunar New Year celebration

Happy Lunar New Year! February 1st marks the beginning of the Year of the Tiger. I have such fond memories of the extraordinary New Year celebrations when I lived in Shanghai: spectacular fireworks rang out at midnight around the city as far as the eye could see; on New Year’s Day there were lion dances and parades, delicious smells wafting from every kitchen I passed. Lunar New Year celebrations last for 15 days, culminating in the Lantern Festival on the first full moon of the New Year. Thinking back to those days makes me smile and brings a lightness to my heart that I’ve not felt in a while.

If there’s one thing I know to be true about myself, it’s that I love to travel and explore. I long to immerse myself in new places and cultures. Exploring somewhere new makes my spirit soar, it makes my soul sing.

Last year presented me with a number of challenges. The last time I shared my musings with you, I wrote about some unexpected health problems, and these remain my constant companion. In the past, I could always rely on travel to boost my spirits, to lift whatever weight I’d been carrying physically, mentally, and emotionally. While I gratefully received rejuvenation from some camping and a cottage sojourn, there remained a heaviness I simply couldn’t shake. I know I’m far from alone in this feeling: throughout the pandemic, a mental health crisis has been growing, and it’s shown us how vitally important it is to take care of ourselves, to prioritise our health and wellbeing if we hope to be of any use to our loved ones, and to the world around us.

Sometimes the way forward is to expand and grow, and sometimes what we really need is to retreat inside our shells to rest and regroup.  My heart told me to choose the latter path. For much of the last year, I’ve focused my attention on my small community of dedicated students, offering nourishing practices and weekly writings that resonated with my own journey and experience. As we welcome this New Year, I thought I’d share some of these musings from the last few months.

On gratitude:

“Taking time throughout the day to pause and reflect on the blessings in your life serves as a powerful reminder that, no matter what trouble might be brewing, we are indeed blessed.  Even on those days when challenges are many and blessings seem few, we can give thanks simply for waking up when so many others around the world did not. That’s not to say that gratitude asks us to forget about our pain and suffering; however, it can help us temper that suffering with goodness, with joy, with kindness and love.”

On the importance of self-care:

“Rest should be a topic of great importance at any time, but I think the stress and uncertainty of the last 2 years has brought it screaming to the forefront as part of the larger discussion of mental health and self-care.  For too long we’ve written off our self-care needs as indulgence and luxury.  We couldn’t be further from the truth. I see the effects of stress and strain in those I love; I see their burnout clear as day. I feel it in myself too and I know that the only way I can provide the support my loved ones need is if I take care of my own health and wellbeing.  It’s as simple as that – simple, yes, but not always easy… just like our journey with yoga and mindfulness.”

On our need to be ‘productive’:

“Productivity is something that’s often on our minds, whether consciously or unconsciously. As human beings, we’ve been conditioned to believe that we must always be doing something, and that our doing must be leading us towards a goal or achievement. For me, an example that comes to mind is the internal chatter that occurs when I’m feeling under the weather: I have to convince myself to rest, I have to talk myself into slowing down and setting aside the to-do list, and I try to catch myself each time that negative little voice inside says, ‘don’t stop now, push through, it’s not that bad, you should get more done.

Why is rest not seen as productive? Why is sitting on my back step watching the sunrise not productive? Why is answering an email tomorrow so I can go for a walk in the sunshine today not productive? Much as we try to fight it, we are mortal beings who live a finite amount of time. We have no idea when the end will come, but when it does, I suspect most of us will still have a few things left on our to-do lists. So how can we learn to accept that fact and enjoy the time we have while we have it?”

On finding contentment:

“…a teaching I recently enjoyed from Frank Ostaseski [is to] welcome everything, push away nothing.  Welcome everything, push away nothing.  Like many mindfulness teachings, it sounds so simple, yet I think we can all agree that it’s anything but easy. It’s human nature to gravitate towards what feels good and recoil from what doesn’t. We seek out pleasure and avoid pain and suffering at all costs. In asana practice, we can easily settle into a pose that feels good and familiar, but what about the poses that challenge us, that feel uncomfortable, that bring us to our edge physically, mentally, or emotionally? How do we find the same sense of ease and contentment in those poses? Welcome everything, push away nothing.” 

On World Kindness Day:

“When someone shows us kindness, we feel our spirits lift, and we’re much more inclined to share that feeling with others we encounter. Someone returns an item that fell out of your pocket and you’re surprised, grateful, happy; in that moment you become fully present and aware of the kindness another has shown you. That warm feeling inside comes from a little shot of serotonin, oxytocin, and endorphins – the body’s natural mood boosters – and it stays with you as you continue on your way, perhaps opening a door for someone or helping them carry a heavy package to their car. As you pass the kindness on, the warm feeling in you continues because sharing kindness is as good for us as receiving it.  Start today with a little act of kindness towards yourself and see how it makes you feel. Then as you move through the day and encounter others, share a smile, offer a compliment, hold open a door, buy someone a coffee. As Aesop wrote: ‘No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted’.”

On how we choose to move through the world:

“We learn myriad lessons on the mat. New insights appear each time we arrive, each time we pay attention, each time we open our awareness and allow the lessons to penetrate the layers of bias and expectation and resistance we’ve built up over time. As human beings it is our nature to form opinions, to make judgments, to set goals. Yet our practice teaches us over and over again that everything changes, nothing remains as it is, no two breaths or sensations or moments in time are the same. Each time we exhale, we expect that an inhale will follow – but are we guaranteed that next inhale? Are we guaranteed the next moment in time…or only this one?

…a favourite quote, one I’ve shared with you many times over the years: ‘Happiness is not given to us, nor is misery imposed. At every moment we are at a crossroads and must choose the direction we will take.’ ~Matthieu Ricard

While so much in life is beyond our control, we can choose how we respond to what arises. We can choose to be open-minded and curious; we can choose to be angry and sullen; we can choose to accept and learn from challenges; we can choose to resist and shout at the rain. It’s all a matter of perspective and how we choose to navigate the changing world around us.”

~~~

Maybe a few of my words resonate with you, reflecting some of your own experiences of the past year. How are you choosing to move through the world? Is this a time when it feels good to expand and grow, or is your heart asking you to slow down, to rest, to stop some of the doing and allow yourself to simply be?

Last week the world lost one of its shining lights, the wise and beautiful soul of Thich Nhat Hanh. Often called the father of mindfulness, his book Peace is Every Step was my first introduction to this practice, my first step on a lifelong journey exploring his teachings of compassion and love for all beings. With a new year upon us, I leave you with these wise words from Thich Nhat Hanh:

“Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully each moment, and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.”

Begin again

Crater Lake, Oregon
Crater Lake, Oregon

Another year comes to a close, offering us an opportunity for reflection. Perhaps more than most in recent memory, we’ll be glad to bid this year farewell. Its challenges were felt across the globe, and while cheers of “We’re all in this together” drew us closer with a sense of community and connection, we also witnessed deep division, mistrust, and isolation that threatened to pull us farther apart. Whatever this year held for each of us, may we find it in our hearts to look back with gratitude for its blessings, and to acknowledge the lessons we learned from its challenges.

Many of us might be looking eagerly to the new year as a time to start over, a clean slate – and given the way 2020 has unfolded, who could blame us. However, one of the most important lessons we learn in mindfulness practice is that we can always begin again – anytime, anywhere, right-here-now. We don’t need a new year, a new month, a new season; every day is new, every hour is new, every moment is a new opportunity to release what’s no longer serving us and begin again with an open heart and a fresh perspective.

Thich Nhat Hanh wrote: “Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully each moment, and to look at all beings with eyes of compassion.” When we’re experiencing challenges – whether they’re physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual – it can sometimes feel as though there’s no relief in sight, no light at the end of the tunnel. But what if relief is waiting on the next breath? In the next moment? What if relief is found by waking up each morning and choosing to live fully each moment with kindness and compassion, beginning with ourselves?

Winter is a season of darkness, cold, stillness, and quietude. If we release our tendency toward constant busyness and activity, we can embrace the introspective energy of winter and nourish ourselves the way Mother Nature intended. We can welcome stillness, spend time in quiet reflection, withdraw from the cacophony around us to listen deeply within. With loving awareness, we can acknowledge our fears and anxiety, welcoming them as warmly as we do our joy. As we listen with kind attention to our inner wisdom, to our deepest self, our fears loosen their grip and we make our way to a state of ease and grace. Each day a challenge might present itself, and each day we can choose to respond to it with that same loving awareness and compassion, creating our own light at the end of the tunnel as we begin again. It’s a continual process: renewing our compassion for ourselves and others, forgiving ourselves and others when we or they falter, and then starting anew…again, and again, and again.

As we say goodbye to the year that was and welcome the year that will be, I wish you joy and good health, with deepest gratitude for your support. I leave you with the poetic wisdom of John O’Donohue.

For a New Beginning – by John O’Donohue

In out of the way places of the heart
Where your thoughts never think to wander
This beginning has been quietly forming
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire
Feeling the emptiness grow inside you
Noticing how you willed yourself on
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the grey promises that sameness whispered
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.