Tag: welcoming change

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Listening deeply

Listening to nature in Algonquin Park

It’s been a while since I shared my thoughts with you in this space – apologies for my absence! These are strange times. Although most often what I’ve been feeling is grateful – grateful that I’m healthy and so is my family, grateful that I have a roof over my head, grateful that my husband is still working when so many have lost their jobs – I have experienced a range of other emotions over the last few months. Anxiety. Frustration. Uncertainty. Disappointment. Boredom. Stir-craziness (perhaps that’s not really an emotion…). I’ve had insomnia. I’ve felt my energy levels wax and wane. However, perhaps more important than the particular range of feelings and emotions experienced is the fact that I’ve listened deeply to what my body has been telling me each step along the way, and I’ve tried to respond with kindness, compassion and acceptance. At the end of the day, that’s all we can do. Change is inevitable. Nothing is certain. We have this very moment in which we find ourselves and we can choose to befriend it and experience it fully, or we can struggle against the inevitable and lose out on the simple joys that this moment might bring.

More and more I recognise the importance of listening deeply within. The answers we seek usually exist somewhere inside of us, we need only be open to what our inner wisdom has to share. I’ve heard quite a number of people observe that these months of lockdown and restrictions have afforded them a rare opportunity to slow down and take stock. Most of the time we focus our attention outside of ourselves, sometimes because that’s what’s required – when we’re at work, caring for others, driving a car – and sometimes because it’s easier to distract ourselves with the external to avoid dealing with the tough questions that might come up when we look within. As our activities have been necessarily restricted to protect our health and the health of our community, we’ve found ourselves with fewer external time demands and more opportunities to reflect on what really matters.

Beyond the devastating loss of life the world is grappling with each day, I’ve been saddened by the less visible casualties as well – seeing small businesses go under, people losing their homes and their livelihoods, being cast into an uncertain future. I’ve also been deeply touched as I read about random acts of kindness, small and large – a reminder that human beings are inherently good, and that a crisis can bring out the best in us. In my personal experience over these last months, I’ve seen a bit of the best and the worst coming out in people, organisations and institutions around me. The actions of those in the ‘worst’ category have enabled me to make healthier decisions about whom I trust and support in the future, while those in the ‘best’ have reinforced my trust in them and strengthened my commitment moving forward. As you look back over the year so far, what has warmed your heart in humanity, and what has given you pause and perhaps made you question or re-evaluate something about yourself and your life?

It’s good to ask ourselves tough questions. It’s good to evaluate our habits and behaviours, our beliefs and expectations. We’re not static beings – we are constantly changing and evolving, learning and unlearning, exploring and discovering new things about ourselves and the world around us. If we pay attention, if we remain open to all of these new teachings and experiences, we can then take what we’ve learned and allow it to shape the way we grow. It can make us stronger and more resilient in the face of challenge; it can make us kinder and more compassionate in the face of suffering and injustice; it can bring out the very best in us, our innate goodness and wisdom, to lead us humbly forward on the uncertain path ahead.

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Reflecting back to guide us forward

Autumn sky reflections

A new year and a new decade is upon us. The end of the calendar year is a natural time to reflect back on what was and to look forward with hope and anticipation to what might lie ahead. In the Northern Hemisphere, the end of the year coincides with the beginning of winter, a season that encourages us to draw our focus inward, to observe and connect with our inner landscape and reflect upon what we find.

Amid the celebration and festivity, take some time to consider not only the year that has come to a close, but the last ten years as well. What events stand out for you? What are you most proud of? What did you learn that has changed the way you think, feel, live your daily life? What were the triumphs in those ten years, and what were the challenges? What beliefs, teachings, and practices served you well, and which ones might be limiting your ability to move forward on your path?

The only constant in life is change. At a glance it might seem like we are the same person we were a decade ago, but when we look closer the differences are clear. It would be easy to allow our inner monologue to deafen us with criticism over our perceived failures, our losses, the summits we did not climb, the goals we did not achieve. However, what we must do instead is listen to our deepest self – that wise little voice within us, so often shouted down by the external world and our busy thinking mind. That voice will remind us that we are extraordinary because after ten years we are still alive. We are older and wiser and more beautiful each day. Every triumph and tragedy has taught us something about ourselves and made us more whole, more human. We can look back at the changes we have experienced and welcome them with an open heart, offering forgiveness and compassion for the suffering we might have caused ourselves or others.

On December 22nd, spiritual leader Ram Dass left his broken body to go home. His dear friend Jack Kornfield said, “Home is not somewhere else. It is here, in life and death, in the eternal dance of consciousness, weaving together form and the formless mystery from which it all comes. Ram Dass is the vastness reminding us that in the end, there is only love.” In 1997 Ram Dass suffered a stroke and, rather than being discouraged by its debilitating effects, he used that monumental change to embody his teachings, to continue to share his love and compassion and wisdom with the world. If change is the one constant in life, death is the one inevitability. Ram Dass saw death simply as a change to prepare for, to make peace with, to welcome and accept like any other. May his teachings live on and flourish in the millions of hearts he touched.

Ram Dass – Be Here Now
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Season of the heart

Waterlilies in a Japanese garden

Summer has arrived! If you live in the Northern Hemisphere, June 21st marked the first day of summer. According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the season of summer is associated with the Heart and Small Intestine. It is a season of decidedly Yang energy when we are often more active and engaged, travelling and exploring, spending time outdoors. In spring, we make plans, we plant seeds and put down roots, and when summer comes we see our gardens grow and flourish. Summer is an opportunity to live from the heart, to play with our edges and explore outside our comfort zone.

For the last few weeks I have been absent from this space – my apologies! I have been busy making plans of my own, planting and tending to seeds that are very soon to blossom. The changing seasons are natural times of transition for us, and with the arrival of summer I am transitioning to a new home. I am not moving to a new city this time, only to the other side of my current one – though in a city like Toronto, moving to the other side of town can almost feel that way, as this is a city of diverse neighbourhoods, each with its own unique and wonderful qualities.

We are generally creatures of habit. We enjoy our routines, our familiar patterns, our favourite people and places and things. When we are presented with a transition – either by Mother Nature with our changing seasons, by our own choices and actions, or through unexpected developments in our life – we can choose to view it as an opportunity and embrace the possibilities it may bring. For many people, the arrival of spring is an opportunity to do some ‘spring cleaning’, clearing out the unwanted, unused, unnecessary things that we have collected. We might do this in our physical environment by deep cleaning our homes, giving old clothes and items we no longer need to charities so that others may benefit from them. We can also do some spring cleaning in our inner environment, releasing old judgments, beliefs, expectations, habits; we let go of what no longer serves us so that we can make space instead for things that nourish and inspire us.

If spring is a season of clearing out the old, summer is a season to welcome what is new. What new ideas, activities, and healthy habits can you invite into your daily life this summer? What new places can you explore, even in your own town or neighbourhood? Though sometimes it may feel like we are unable to change, like changing our familiar routines and patterns would be impossibly challenging, humans are strong and resilient beings and we are capable of much more than we think. The idea of stepping outside our comfort zone might be intimidating, but it is the way we grow and learn and flourish in this life. (I touched on the benefits of exploring outside our comfort zone in an earlier post and shared a wonderful little graphic and one of my favourite quotes from Mark Twain. Check it out here.)

So often we make our decisions based entirely on what our mind tells us is the right thing to do. What about our heart? It is within our heart that we connect to our intuition; it is within our heart that we find our wisest, truest self. This truest self is Atman, our essential being, our higher consciousness. Atman is timeless and ageless, the universal self that never changes and is unaffected by the material world. When we are guided by this deep inner wisdom instead of by the expectations and judgments of the external world, we cannot take a wrong step. When we listen to our heart, we can move freely, confidently, open and receptive to all that awaits us on our journey.

As we move into summer, let this be a time to nourish your heart and heed its advice. Let yourself be guided by the wisdom of your intuition. As Rumi said, “I have been a seeker and I still am but I stopped asking the books and the stars. I started listening to the teaching of my soul.” May we all be so wise and forge a deep, abiding connection to the wisdom that lies within.

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Spring cleaning

Spring has finally arrived! Though outside my window there is a decidedly wintry wind blowing now, the sight of robins in the grass tells me that spring is here. The spring equinox this year coincided with a Super Moon, apparently the first time this has happened since 1905 and it will not happen again until 2144. How fortunate that we were here to see it, and what an extraordinary way to begin a season that invites us to explore new opportunities and possibilities.

In spring we can see new beginnings everywhere, we need only look – buds on the trees, tiny blooms poking through the soil, longer days and warmer temperatures that signal the arrival of a new season. Winter is a natural time for introspection, turning toward ourselves to explore our inner landscape. Maybe this winter you became reacquainted with yourself, reconnected with the light and wisdom and beauty that is you…or maybe you did not. Inner work takes time and patience and commitment and maybe this was not something you were ready to do this winter. Reassure yourself with kindness that that’s okay. It’s spring now, winter is in the past so we let it go without judgment or regret for what might have been, what we might have done. Luckily, there is never a wrong time for inward reflection, and the arrival of spring encourages us to do some inner work now – some interior spring cleaning to sweep away the old, the limiting, the unhealthy, the unwanted, to make space for what is new. What can we clear out? Old habits, unhealthy behaviours, fear and shame and malice, thoughts and feelings and preconceptions that no longer serve us. Just as we clean out our closets, donating clothes we no longer need to make room for new spring additions, so too can we clean out those inner places where we store old feelings, expectations, and beliefs that no longer resonate with who we are today and who we may be in the future.

Traditional Chinese Medicine confirms that spring is a time for clearing out. The season of spring is associated with the Liver and Gallbladder organ systems, which govern the flow of our chi (energy), our inner disposition, and our detoxification processes. When our liver chi is unbalanced, we can feel defensive, agitated, angry, and unable to think or act decisively. Healthy liver/gallbladder chi enables us to make plans and put them into action, to follow our path in life and to regain equilibrium when unexpected challenges threaten to knock us off course. Healthy liver chi also connects us to our innate capacity for compassion – towards ourselves and others. It is this compassion that can help us to recognise and release what no longer serves us, what might be hurting or holding us back, so that we can create space to welcome something new.

As the signs of spring slowly appear, let this be an opportunity for you to refresh and renew your inner landscape. With compassion and lovingkindness, examine some of your habits and patterns, your recurring thoughts and feelings, judgments and expectations. Is there anything that no longer resonates with you, that no longer serves a positive role, that might hold you back as you seek to move forward on your path? Give thanks for whatever lessons they have taught you, and then let them go. Make room for what is new – new ideas, new adventures, new paths forward. Welcome the new growth and possibility of spring.

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A new beginning

Photo by manfredrichter

Spring is on its way. Can you feel it? Outside your door it may still look and feel like winter, but the days are getting longer and soon there will be buds on the trees and tiny blooms will poke their heads through the snow.

Our body knows that spring is coming. Something begins to stir deep within – if only we take the time to listen. Despite our best efforts to confuse and misdirect our body with artificial light from our devices, interrupted sleep patterns, a diet that often has no relationship to the climate we live in, we are still guided by the changing seasons at our deepest levels. We simply need to attune to our body and it will tell us what it needs to remain healthy and resilient.

Whereas winter is a time to invite introspection and quiet into our life, in spring we are like those tiny blooms, slowly poking our heads out from the snow. As we emerge from our long winter’s sleep, we enter a season of awakening and renewal. Spring is a time of planting seeds and making plans, releasing the old that no longer serves us to make way for the new – new ideas, new habits, new steps on our path.

As we eagerly await spring’s arrival, let’s consider what changes this season might bring for us. What are we ready to let go? What no longer brings us joy? What have we outgrown? When we release what we no longer need, we create space for new joys, new adventures, new ideas, new paths forward.

In anticipation of spring and all its possibilities, I leave you with the words of John O’Donohue.

For a New Beginning - by John O’Donohue

In out of the way places of the heart
Where your thoughts never think to wander
This beginning has been quietly forming
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire
Feeling the emptiness grow inside you
Noticing how you willed yourself on
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the grey promises that sameness whispered
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
You eyes young again with energy and dream
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

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Explore. Dream. Discover.

Supertree Grove, Singapore

In my last post I touched on the benefits of exploring new places and perspectives and, as if on cue, an article arrived in my inbox about novelty and the importance of getting out of our ruts. According to the University of California Berkeley Wellness Letter, studies have shown that novelty may enhance memory and learning, it is associated with happiness and well-being, it may enhance creativity, and it can help slow down our perception of time. What more could we need to convince us!

For most, our tendency is to gravitate toward the familiar – what is safe, comfortable, known to us. We surround ourselves with familiar people, places, and things to cultivate a sense of security and to create a system of support and reassurance for when the path ahead is unclear. Some of our routines give necessary structure to our life – without them we would neglect our jobs, our responsibilities at home, our commitments to friends and family and community. However, I think it is worthwhile to examine our routines periodically and decide which ones continue to serve us, and which do not – which ones support us and help us move forward on our path, and which might be limiting our potential to grow and change.

It can be daunting to step outside our comfort zone. Yet, if we do not muster the courage to explore beyond what we know, we cannot reap the potential rewards. In A Book That Takes Its Time – An Unhurried Adventure in Creative Mindfulness, there is a wonderful graphic illustrating what lies beyond our comfort zone:

From: A Book That Takes Its Time, by Irene Smit and Astrid van der Hulst

When we look at it this way, how can we not give in to wanderlust and allow ourselves to explore the possibilities of discovery, adventure, reflection, and wisdom?

On the yogic path, we practice svadhyaya, self-study. We reflect upon who we really are – our truest self beyond ego, beyond the expectations and constructs of society. In mindfulness meditation we seek to release attachment to our preconceptions and judgments and look with a beginner’s mind at what arises moment by moment. These practices can help us to open our hearts and minds and give us the courage to explore beyond what is comfortable and known. When we take a step away from the familiar and we observe with fresh eyes what lies before us, the possibilities are endless.

What opportunities await beyond your comfort zone? Take the first step and see where it leads. Follow a new route on your evening walk. Learn a new language or skill. Play with a new pose, or an old pose in a new way, in your yoga practice. Travel to a distant land and explore a new culture. In the sage words of Mark Twain: “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.“

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Live the questions


“I beg you, to have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and to try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in a very foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.” ~Rainer Maria Rilke

A friend shared an article with me recently that included this quote.  It is one that gives me pause every time I read it, and this time in particular it resonated deeply. Over the past few months, I have written often about mindfulness, its myriad benefits and also its challenges. Given the latter, some might say that true mindfulness is not for the faint of heart! When we embark upon the journey of mindfulness practice, we seek to embody certain attitudes that guide the way we respond to what arises within us and in the world around us, moment by moment. Among the most challenging of these attitudes can be Patience and Acceptance – which is exactly what Rilke asks of us in this beautiful passage.

The more we practice, the more familiar we become with two important realities: uncertainty and impermanence. Nothing is guaranteed, and nothing that arises will remain exactly the same for any length of time. Put another way, for all the beauty and possibility that lies in our hopes and dreams, we must acknowledge that we can never truly know what is coming until it is here, and the only certainty we can rely upon is that everything in our life will inevitably change. How then do we continue to hope and dream and imagine in the face of this reality? We learn to embrace the very things that challenge us and welcome them as opportunities to learn and explore – ourselves, each other, the world we live in.

I think it is safe to say that we have all experienced impatience at some point in our life. It can be as simple as the impatience of waiting for a delayed flight, an appointment with someone who is running behind, a traffic jam that makes you late for an important event.  What do all of these things have in common? They are external circumstances that have caused us frustration or inconvenience – and they are all beyond our immediate control.  This is where mindfulness can step in, providing a refuge from our frustration and an antidote to the spiraling thoughts that can easily lead us down a path to anger or fear or impulsive reactions.  When we notice ourselves becoming impatient and annoyed, it can act as a mindful reminder to acknowledge what is and is not within our control, and to accept what we cannot change.  As always, this is easier said than done, but then that is why we call it a practice – we are practicing these skills, honing our abilities, cultivating them like seedlings planted in our garden.

It takes time to build a deep and abiding mindfulness practice – perhaps a lifetime. A vital part of this journey is to be patient as we encounter challenges and disappointments, as we look to the horizon for answers and find only questions. If we can accept that change is inevitable and the future will always remain unknown to us, perhaps we will find a sense of peace that allows us to truly inhabit the present moment and embrace whatever it may bring – to love the questions and to live them fully, right here and now.

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Relax into impermanence

“When the appearances of this life dissolve, may I with ease and great happiness, let go of all attachments to this life, like a child returning home.” ~ Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche

When we pay attention to the world around us, we begin to notice that everything is always changing – the temperature of the air, the clouds in the sky, scents wafting by on the breeze, the sounds of people and traffic and birdsong.  We walk outside our same front door each morning and yet what awaits us is different every time.  We take our same route to work and yet we see different cars, different people.  We pour coffee into our same mug and yet, if we are really paying attention, we notice that the coffee tastes and smells differently today. Why? Because we are different.  Because this moment is different. Because all of life is impermanent and although we may encounter people and places and things that seem to be the same as those we have met or seen or experienced before, those experiences have ended and what we have before us is beginning anew.

Impermanence can be challenging to truly understand and accept.  Realising that nothing remains the same and that all things must come to an end can give rise to fear and anxiety and a sense of groundlessness.  As human beings we form attachments to the people and places and things in our life; they become part of how we identify ourselves and our place in this world.  When an experience is over, when we lose a treasured object, when a beloved friendship ends, we often try to cling, to grasp, to bring it back into existence, even though deep down we know that it has reached its natural end and we must continue on.

Life is a continuous cycle of beginnings and endings, of births and deaths. Each breath has a natural beginning and ending, each moment begins and ends, and the end of one moment marks the beginning of the next.  Through our mindfulness practice, we learn to observe this natural evolution of time and experience with a sense of equanimity; we learn to release our attachment to what has passed, without fear or anxiety.  As we cultivate an attitude of acceptance and our resilience grows in the face of change, we are building the inner resources necessary to face our deepest fears, to face the ultimate example of impermanence: our own death.

On the eastern edge of the Himalayas lies the Buddhist kingdom of Bhutan.  When we hear about Bhutan in the West, it is often referred to as the happiest place on earth, a country whose King declared ‘Gross National Happiness’ to be its true measure of success.  In such a place where happiness abounds, it might be a surprise to learn that they contemplate their own death five times a day.  Five times every day the Bhutanese acknowledge that this life will end; they acknowledge the impermanent nature of everything around them, and then they return to living in that moment.  I find this practice fascinating and have decided to try it myself – believe it or not, there is an app for that!  At five random times a day this app sends me a reminder that I am going to die, and it shares a quote with me about some aspect of impermanence.  At first blush this may sound morbid; however, I believe it is by confronting our fears that we relieve them of their power over us.

Fear can have profound effects upon us.  We can feel paralysed by our fears, and they can rob us of our ability to live each day in a healthy and conscious way.  When we acknowledge fear, when we observe it and name it and sit with it, we grow our awareness of its nature and its roots.  We can look upon it with compassion and lovingkindness and then feel its power diminish.  Change and the impermanent nature of all things gives rise to fear for many of us, but if we can find a way to acknowledge and accept impermanence, perhaps instead we can welcome change, relax and make peace with it.  Perhaps by accepting impermanence, by realising that all we really have is this moment, we can live our lives more fully and allow the births and deaths along the way to teach us powerful lessons.

I leave you with the wonderful wisdom of Pema Chödrön, a Tibetan Buddhist nun who has the extraordinary ability to make challenging concepts like impermanence feel much more accessible.

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Letting go

Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. ~ Jack Kornfield

Autumn is my favourite season. I revel in its riot of colours, I breathe in deeply its crisp and refreshing air, I nourish myself with its abundant harvest of fruits and vegetables, and like a joyful child I dance my way through piles of leaves and relish the sound of their crunching beneath my feet.  Autumn greatly appeals to my nature as an introvert – I love spending quiet time alone curled up with a good book, puttering in the kitchen making hearty soups and savoury preserves with my fall bounty from the farmer’s market.  Autumn is a season tailor-made for homebodies like me.

You may have noticed that over the last few weeks there have been some common threads woven through my posts. These threads are an integral part of the larger tapestry that is Autumn and all that this season means for us on a physical and energetic level.  The daylight wanes and the temperatures cool; the natural world sheds its summer clothes and quietly prepares for winter slumber.  Though our busy modern life seems to draw us ever farther from our connection to nature, when we take the time to listen to our bodies, to listen to our inner selves and the innate wisdom we have within us, we realise that we are deeply moved and shaped by the rhythm of the changing seasons.

Traditional Chinese Medicine teaches us that our vital energy moves through channels in our body called meridians, nourishing all of our cells and tissues.  The meridian lines are connected to organ systems, and while there are clear links to the Western understanding of organ function, TCM also assigns other physical and energetic attributes to these systems.  TCM also acknowledges the important role that the seasons of the natural world play in our physical and energetic well-being.  The autumn season is associated with the Lung and Large Intestine meridians.  These organs separate what is essential from what is waste; they eliminate what is unnecessary or toxic and welcome what will nourish and heal.  Their energy is one of ‘letting go’, releasing what no longer serves us, creating space to respond to our changing needs so that we have room to grow and move forward on our path.

When we avoid introspection, when we turn away from ourselves and ignore the signals being sent by our mind and body, we are fighting a battle we cannot win.  We are an integral part of the natural world. What if rather than struggling against its changing nature, we relaxed and softened into that change? What if rather than clinging tightly to what we know, we released our grip and let go, making space for something new? Autumn is a time for us to dive within and plumb the depths of our experience. Let yourself be nourished by the changing season. Open your heart and your mind to whatever comes, and release what it is time to let go.

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Autumn reflections

Each new season brings change; whether subtle or profound, we are all affected by the changing nature of the world around us. In autumn, we see shorter days and cooler temperatures. Depending on where we live, there might be a riot of colour to signal its arrival, one last hurrah before the natural world settles into slumber.

The needs of our minds and bodies also change with each new season. After the expansive, external energy that the heat of summer brings, we find ourselves drawing inward as fall arrives. We feather our nests and get cozy, we nourish our bodies with warming foods made from the bounty of fall’s harvest.  This is a time for introspection, for gazing within and connecting to our heart and to our intuition.  All of the answers to our biggest, most pressing life questions lie within us, but we rarely take the time to listen openly and honestly to our inner guides.

Let autumn be a time to embark upon an inward journey.  Mine the depths of your soul with compassion and lovingkindness and see what treasures you uncover. With open-hearted awareness, attune to the subtle rhythms of your body and your breath, as you dive deep inside to connect to the wisdom that lies within.

Autumn is a time for nourishing food, nourishing practices, nourishing community with friends and loved ones. We shore up our inner resources to support us during the dark and cold of winter that lies ahead. A vital part of our autumn ritual is also adequate time alone and in stillness to attend to the needs of our mind, our body, and our spirit. We take this time to reflect on how these needs may be changing and how we can best respond to them; we reflect on what is serving us well in our life, and what it is time to release.  In autumn, we can let go of what no longer serves and supports us, and we can make space for new experiences and ideas that will help us to learn and grow on our path.

What practices can you invite into your fall routine that will nourish you deeply and allow you to explore your inner landscape? Make time for yourself. Make time for stillness and quiet. Make time for healing and for letting go. Welcome spaciousness into your heart and your mind, making room for love, for gratitude, and for possibility.